Dear MIMsters: I’m in a Miserable Marriage but in Love with My Pastor

I have been in an abusive and a miserable marriage for nine years now. I got pregnant while we were dating. I was in school then and my husband said I had to quit school so we could get married. He promised to help me go  back to school after I put to bed.

The problem is till now, nine years and three kids after, he has refused to allow me continue my education. To make matters worse, he beats me up every now and then but I find it difficult to leave him because of my kids. The last time he beat me up I was admitted for days while he threatened to take my kids far away if I leave him.

I started going to different churches for prayers. I went to one church in 2013 then I was pregnant and he was still beating me. But as soon as I saw the pastor I fell in love with him immediately and the feelings won’t just go away. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. After I had my baby in 2014, I stopped going to the church so I won’t see the pastor again. I have tried so hard to forget about him but I haven’t been able to. Now, I have found out that this Pastor feels the same way about me and has told me that he is ready ready to wait for me until I make my decision. I need your advice.