Not All Men Are Beasts Series: My Husband Has Been Nothing Short of a Blessing

I have been inspired by the Not All Men are Beasts Series, I read on the website recently (read here) to share about my blissful marriage, and also to inspire and encourage the singles to look forward to a fulfilling marriage. My own husband has been nothing short of a blessing.

There’s a 10-year age gap between my husband and I. The only way you can tell is when you are told because we relate perfectly as the best friends we are meant to be. Let me start from sharing responsibilities. In our marriage, our responsibilities are shared between my husband and I. He’s financially responsible for ALL our family and individual expenses. This means if I want to buy a Chanel handbag for myself now, my husband pays the bills if we can afford. Actually, there is no difference between my money and his money. Even though we both share one common purse and have access to each other’s accounts, I never make any major payments without his knowledge. All the properties acquired since we got married are in both names.

My responsibility is to ensure that our home is run seamlessly with or without a full domestic staff. I’m also responsible for school runs, managing and organising our home, the kids, their school and other activities but all the bills are mostly paid by my husband. I run my own business, while my husband is fully employed. When there is no extra help available, my husband rises up to the occasion by helping out here and there. He has no issues with vacuuming, mopping the floor, bathing our kids or doing whatever needs to be done. But one thing, my husband cannot do even to save his life is the laundry. Lol…

What I enjoy so much about being married to my husband is the transparency that we share. He hides nothing from me and we both have access to each other’s phones as well. He always tells me that he can’t hide things from me because he needs me to know what’s going on in his life at all times so I can know how to pray for him. He understands the power of agreement prayers. Even though, I love and respect him for his level wisdom and high business acumen, he calls me his consultant. He never makes a major decision without first checking with me. This shows me that he respects my judgement and I understand that I constantly have to find ways of improving my intellect and wisdom so I do not fall short of his expectations in this regard. He’s the first person I’m calling when I need advice on any matter, no matter how major or insignificant it is and I love listening to his wisdom.

My husband is not the most romantic man in the world because he can forget things like wedding anniversaries and Valentine’s day but I am not usually bothered because everyday in my home is like Valentines day and I understand that there’s nothing I want that he won’t give me if he can afford to. People tell me I married a great husband. It is that obvious. People also tell him that he’s lucky to have found me because I am very open, straightforward and I take my job of shielding him very seriously. If you have to get to my husband, you have to first get past me.

Thankfully, my husband is not a cheat. He says he has been there and done that when it comes to womanising and has been with more than enough women to last him a life time. We got married when he was 40, yet I check him so he doesn’t fall into temptation. Well, like I always tell him, I trust him through God because the arms of flesh can fail but God never fails. So my trust is in God, not in my husband. We both understand we have to be accountable so he never leaves home without me knowing where he’s going to and in whose company he’s in. If he has to leave one place for the other, he tells me. We don’t have close friends with questionable values and if we do have any, together, we try to straighten them.

We’ve had a few fights here and there but they are usually about what discipline techniques to use with our kids and how he doesn’t like how I speak to them when I am angry.

One thing we constantly also quarrelled about was keeping late nights. I saw he enjoyed hanging out with friends after work and I didn’t like it all because that’s how cheating starts. This led to a major fight we had when he came home very late from the office one night. Their office had some foreign visitors, so after work, they had dinner and ended up at the bar. He was having a good time there and had a few too many drinks. I kept calling him and he would answer and ask for 30 more minutes until his phone become unreachable. I waited angrily for him to return home. As soon as he drove in, I told him to take care of the kids and drove off to go check into a comfortable hotel. He kept calling all through the night but I didn’t go home until the next day and I didn’t tell him where I was. I only said I was fine and I wasn’t coming back, at least for that night. He didn’t go to work the next day, and kept begging me to come home, so I went back home the following morning.

In all our 10 years of marriage, we have never had any reason to bring a third party in. When we offend each other, the offending partner usually takes responsibility and we decide upon a way forward to avoid a reoccurrence. He’s quite affectionate, always reaching out to touch, hold or cuddle me even after 10 years of marriage.

He’s a hands on dad with the kids and takes them to bed and prays for them every night. He tries to come home before they go to bed.

Seeing how much women stomach in their marriages has made me see how blessed I am. I appreciate my husband and do not take him for granted. To celebrate him from time to time, I buy him gifts, organise date nights and spa dates. Thankfully, I do not have interfering in-laws but even if I did, he’s always there to support me. Let me just pause here.