Dear MIMster: Why My Husband Is an Impossible Man
My husband does not hit me no matter how intense things get, but he is just impossible. I have become so unhappy in this marriage as he is a perfectionist and a master in nagging. He pulls me down in different ways and doesn’t make me feel good about myself. He is quite aggressive which makes me panic whenever he comes close as I’m afraid of what next could happen. I have reported him severely to both my parents and his but nothing has changed. He is just impossible.
We are expecting our second child soon, yet, I don’t see happiness with him as I have tried everything I can think of to make things better. He shouts at me, even when I bring up a suggestion, he stones it back to me. He has brought out a character in me that I never had as we are always quarreling for the most trivial things because he won’t just let them be.
I am now always on the defensive. Meanwhile, our daughter is not comfortable with him as she cannot stay two minutes with him. Our puppy does not even like to go close to him. I am really thinking of leaving this marriage to focus on taking care of my kids and myself but the issue is my family and his family they are just too close and I love his family so much.
I don’t know where to start from as I know my mum will be heart broken and crushed. I am the only female. I don’t even know where to start from. We are based abroad and I don’t have anyone or anything here. Both families eat, sleep, and do almost everything together. How can I take a stand and leave? My family is a really decent and strict one such that certain issues like divorce cannot be even discussed. Please help me with any advice as I don’t have any happiness left.
Your family or his are not the ones living with him so they don’t know what you are going through. When families are so close, people tend to want to make the families closer by marrying each other which in itself is not bad, but ruins things more often than not. I will advice you stay back and fight this attitude of his (not physically oh lol). Break him until he sees you as a human being and a wife. Above all pray about it.
Your happiness is the most important in your life, you have a daughter growing up in that unhealthy environment, what is she learning from the both of you concerning her own marriage and future. If you can’t stay, quietly leave cos your family and his ain’t the ones in the mess, you wears the shoes ans knows where it pinches.
Be prayerful.best part is he doesn’t hit you.satan is at war use prayers to break him and limit your side of defence and let him lead in which ever way his lordship pleases for peace to reign.take your girl out to fun places and never speak bad about her dad to her hearing.he wil end up seeing himself as the only army among civilian.
I am going through similar problems in my marriage but the mistake I made was not to quit when the marriage was young. I have been married for over 25 years. At the beginning i think he was pretending to be good but later started exhibiting the emotioal and psychological abuse. He got worse over the years and it reached a stage that I was going through depression, almost going crazy.
I got up one day and made a decision that I deserved to be happy and I would never allow him control my emotions. He wanted to break me but i was too mentally stable for him.
I started taking good care of myself, looking good, gyming, developing myself, generally always happy. It was a rude shock to him that he started looking at me differently. Don’t ever allow him to drag you down with you. He is a loser!
I wish I left the marriage because it has really affected my children. It’s similar to a broken home. It’s better you leave with your children, this man is not happy and he wants everyone around him to be unhappy.