Not All Men Are Beasts: My Happy Father’s Day to My Husband and All Men Like Him

I am writing this in the spirit of Father’s Day. I was in my final year at Nursing school when I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. I remember lots of thoughts going through my heart. This brought me so much fear and anxiety.

My morning sicknesses usually stop only after delivery and I always have to carry a bottle in my bag to empty my saliva. My dear husband and the father of my children helped me from when we found out we were having a baby, till baby was born.

My husband bathes the boys, dresses one while I help with the other. My daughter bathes herself with little assistance from me. After the child minder comes to take them from the house, I will go for my placement and he goes to work. He always told me to go home and rest whenever I finish from school and not to bother picking them as he will pick them up on his way back from work.

Whenever he comes back early with the kids, he starts dinner; he does not have to wait for me. He does most of all the shopping just to ensure I don’t go through more stress. My husband makes our bed. He tidies up, does dishes. He makes breakfast on weekends and we as a family always look forward to weekends. Fast forward to when baby was born, he was involved, just like with all the other births. Was there with me, slept in the hospital with me while we had a friend and a cousin look after the children at home. (I graduated before baby was born). When we got home, he gave baby her first bath. He always did anyways with all the other children. But this I captured in a photo and made a video. He bathed a 2 day old baby!!!.

At six weeks post natal, I went to work as a Nurse (it was a planned discussion which he reluctantly accepted because I convinced him I needed to support him). He took care of baby during my 3 days induction. He was off that week. Thereafter, I did nights; 2 weekend nights a week so I could look after the kids during the weekdays and prepare them for school. So those nights, he wakes up to feed baby and change her diapers. All these he does with an open heart and never complains. It’s only when I ask him how was your sleep that he explains that baby did this or that or the other children woke up asking to use the toilet or drink water. But if I ask how are you ? He says fine! Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the kids and chores and complains, he advices me not to complain that people are looking for children and my brain will reset immediately.

I finally hired a nanny, to enable me work full time. But my nanny does not work nights so when I’m on night shift hubby still looks after baby. She started sleeping through the night from 4 months. By the time I’m back on Sunday morning from night shift, all the kids are ready for church. I just have my bath and we all go to church and then I sleep when I’m back. He is very involved in their welfare and education. Helps with homework. Does not leave everything for me. He encouraged me to look for a topic for my masters. I told him to please wait let me rest small from studying. In his work field he is doing very well. Just got promoted recently.

There are happy and good marriages existing. I have a happy marriage. We have our problems but it’s not on cheating or domestic violence. He has never raised his hands on me or cheat. He usually wonders where people find time to party or club after work. We are very reserved, clubbing is not our thing. So we do things like movie nights at home and go out with kids. My children are blessed to have him as a father and I am blessed to have him as a husband and he is blessed for having us in his life.

I want to encourage the singles out there that there are happy marriages, so don’t be scared by all that you read. I’m surrounded with people with happy marriages (friends and family). They don’t go on social media. One just celebrated 13 yrs of marriage. Not a single picture was on FB. But pictures were sent to friends and family via WhatsApp.

I bless all the fathers on this platform who are making their children and wives happy. To the potential fathers waiting to be blessed with children, may God hear your prayers. To single fathers including the widowers, may God bless, protect and guide you on this journey. To the fathers who think violence is the way, or being absent from your children’s life or impregnating women and denying your own blood, or sexually abusing your children or other people’s children. GOD IS WATCHING YOU. You gain nothing by being selfish and wicked. You inherit more problems with these attitude.
Dear Fathers, you all have it in you to be a great dad and a good husband.
Happy Fathers Day!!! God bless you all.