Dear MIMsters: How MIL and her Ill Mannered Daughter Want to Make Their Problem Mine

I have a sister-in-law I’m older than with over 12 years. SIL is the black sheep of their family. Recently, she ran away from home claiming she can no longer live with their mum again because their mum is a disciplinarian and she also claims to be mature at 22. She is ill mannered.

The fact is that this girl, Anita usually frustrates me whenever she come to my place because she doesn’t lift a finger to do anything. One will have to remind her sometimes to flush after using the toilet. When I’m cooking and I probably ask her to help watch it, it gets burnt. She is lazy and above all is disrespectful to me and to my husband.

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These are the same things she normally does to her mother that makes them fight each other. I’ve never had any clashes with her since her visit doesn’t last longer than 2 weeks. I try to be always patient.

Now, after persuading Anita to return from wherever she went to, she told her elder brothers ( 5 of them well raised, not giving their mums any problems) that she can no longer with their mum anymore and they concluded she should move into my home.

The problem I have with that is that at the end of the day, their mum always takes sides with her if she has any issue with any of her son’s wives. ( I have caught MIL talking ill about one of my BIL’s wife one day. In support of her daughter, she said even though her daughter misbehaves, the wife should be able to endure).

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Anita chose my place probably because I always endured her and she felt she could do whatever she liked in my house. My fear was confirmed about MIL taking sides with Anita when MIL called me. She told me that Anita is now a big girl and I should be careful with her and always talk to her gently.

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My husband understands what is going on but he has been begging me telling me that there is nothing he can do. Note that already, my husband’s cousins, 3 of them usually come stay with me during the holidays whenever they don’t want to go home and so my husband knows its about this particular girl.

How do I begin to walk on egg shells in my own home so they don’t say I made her leave again? How do I report those things she does to her mother who will eventually take sides with her. Meanwhile, I’m heavily pregnant. I had HBP during my last pregnancy, but so far God has helped me with this one. My husband promised to rent house for his sister 2 months of after she starts living with us.