Dear MIMsters: MIL’s Meddling with Our Lives is Driving Me Nuts
Got married about 18 months ago and I have a child. I moved in with my husband barely 3 months ago and I am already frustrated as it is because my MIL won’t let me breathe. Her meddling with our lives is driving me nuts.
She doesn’t live with us but she can call us like up 8 times in a day. I’m not the type who relates so well with the elderly and this frustrates me.
To me she is not giving me room to be married by interfering with everything. Thanks to Whatsapp calls, she just keeps calling and calling and it frustrates me. If it were any other person, I would have found a nice way to tell them to reduce the number of times they call but I can’t do the same with her.
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As such my husband is his mother’s favorite. She calls to ask any question you can think of including what kind of soup and food we have in our fridge. When she visits, she walks in and out of our bedroom like it is the hallway.
I’m not use to all this and it’s really making me unhappy since I am the reserved type and even in my parent’s house, my family will knock, wait for a response before entering. When the door is locked she won’t go until it is opened and then she will ask why it was locked.
My husband can’t voice out to her because he doesn’t want to hurt her but I am so unhappy with her attitude. When I don’t pick up her calls, I’m in trouble, when I finally pick up, she will ask me with so much authority why I didn’t pick up.
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How do I deal with her meddling? Or I should just accommodate her even though I am unhappy? Is this normal? My husband has traveled and it’s even worse now. My parents taught us to be independent but my MIL hmmm. I can’t say everything but kindly help me out with some candid advice. She wants to move in with us. She is not helpful at all like my mum, even when my child is crying, she will just sit down comfortably and watch.
Never has she offered to bath her grandchild but all she does is to dish out instructions to call her grandchild this name and not that name, to speak the local language with her and not English etc etc. I can’t say much but please help me out.
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People should stop looking for issues where there is none.
This one is dicey. I will be back to read comments from experienced people.
hmmmnnn
My dear, I will advice u sit your mil down and have a discussion with her, be firm but polite and make sure the discussion is in the presence of your hubby so as not to be mis quoted
Abeg don’t sit her down thats were the whala would start , the person u need to work on is ur hubby, i also had the same issue wen i married but thank God my hubby coporated, my mil was always the first to wake us up with calls early in the morning, hubby had to start switching off his phone and till today i av no idea how he was able to to explain things to her without her getting angry. if ur hubby really loves u and u r not the type that can’t tolerate pple then he’ll understand ur point and work on it.
Abeg don’t sit her down thats were the whala would start , the person u need to work on is ur hubby, i also had the same issue wen i married but thank God my hubby coporated, my mil was always the first to wake us up with calls early in the morning, hubby had to start switching off his phone and till today i av no idea how he was able to to explain things to her without her getting angry. if ur hubby really loves u and u r not the type that can’t tolerate pple then he’ll understand ur point and work on it.