Dear MIMsters: I Fell in Love with Emeka but I’m Currently Dating Chike

Which of these guys do you think I should choose? Emeka or Chike?

I am 27 years.

I fell in love with Emeka whom I trusted with everything. He was a struggling footballer and who still struggling to get contracts from foreign teams.

His nice and caring nature made me opened up myself to him, even though I suspected there were other girls in his life. I have never caught him with any though.

I was so naive that I ended up getting pregnant for him and afterwards, he abandoned me and the pregnancy. On my own, I raised money to get rid of the pregnancy as I could not bring myself to tell my parents I was pregnant for a guy who would not take his responsibilities.

Later, I heard he got a contract and was assigned to a team in Portugal team. I never heard from him again in about 5 years.

Currently, there is Chike who I used to see as a big brother and we live in the same village. He is my maternal uncle’s childhood friend. He left the country for greener pastures, returned a few years later and got married. I got close to his wife after she gave birth to their son.

To cut the long story short, he lost his wife to cancer in 2014. I dropped out of school around that time due to my mum’s deteriorating health after all the family earnings went into her hospital bills. I became available to Chike to help him out with cleaning, laundry and cooking.

I didn’t know that he had started nursing feeling for me then and went on to fall in love with me. Meanehile, I had no such feelings for him at that time. He went as far as making his intention known to my mum and he did everything to win my heart.

He offered to sponsor my education and I went back to school. Even though we have our differences every now and then, he never deprives me of anything relating to my education and he wants us to get married in less than a year from now.

My problem with him is that apart from the fact that he is over 10 years older than me, he does things in ancient ways. For example, he does not see it necessary to buy me gifts on my birthday but he would collect when I give him gift on his birthday. I have complained severally but he hasn’t changed.

He won’t agree to making a public proposal to me or even get me an engagement ring before we get married. He thinks its childish. This freaks me out because I am just 27 years old.

I insisted he brings back the son ( 5-years-old) he had with his late wife before we get married so that I can get to know him and he can live with us as a family to avoid any problems in future. But he keeps saying the boy will continue to visit only on holidays until he is old enough because he does not want to offend his in-laws by forcefully taking their grandson from them.

Meanwhile my ex called me few months ago. He is back in the country and has begged to see me. I obliged and agreed to meet him in a public place. He apologised for everything and claimed he could not do anything about the pregnancy then because he was broke. He says that now that he is capable of taking care of me, he wants me back.

I realise that I still have a soft spot for him. I need your advice on what to do. Who do I choose? Emeka or Chike? I do not want to hurt myself or anyone else?