Dear MIMsters: Our Relationship Has Never Worked But I Don’t Know How to End it
I’m 27 and I’ve been dating this guy, Kofi for 8 years now but the relationship isn’t working now and it has never worked.
We starting dating after I finished SHS, I was only happy for just 6 months and rest is like hell. We dated for a year and I moved in with him.
He cheats, mistreats, abuses and disgraces me anytime he feels like. The most hurtful part is anytime we have a quarrel, he throws my things out. I’ll have to get people to come and beg him but he won’t listen to until I pack my things out.
He will then come back to his senses and start begging me to come back using every means for me to return to him. This continued for a long time even after having a child with him.
He sleeps around with every maid (4 of them so far ) our landlady brings in. He’s had numerous girl friends too.
As usual, he threw me out a while back and a friend of his rented a room for me. One thing led to another and I slept with his friend. Later, Kofi came begging me to return to him. As usual, he did everything possible but I didn’t want to go back because of what had happened between his friend and I. But in the end, he won again and I moved back with him.
The maltreatment continued. There was no single day I was happy. He takes care of our child and provides for the house but the abuse never stopped.
A year later, the truth( between his friend and I) came out. He was so hurt and beat the hell out of me and threw me out again. Everybody condemned me, pointing fingers at me. I really went through hell that period. I begged and begged ( because I really regretted and wanted to make amends ) till he accepted me back.
Now, he has another reason to mistreat me. The cheating got worse. He slept with married women, girls, even the under age and my own 14-year old niece.
My older sister wanted to throw him into jail but I interceded for him so he was made to pay some amount of money. My sister took some and I was given part of it. He threw me out again for collecting part of the money.
Because he promised to marry, I wanted to support him with my share of the money once our issues were resolved. He refused to understand and told me that he can’t marry me. This made me go ahead to rent an apartment. As usual, he came back begging. Even though I accepted him back, I didn’t move in with him. I considered him because of our child.
Till date he still abuses me verbally anytime he likes. He has not changed. I’m a hard working woman and I earn a salary. Should I keep being with him for the sake of our child or forget about him and move on with our child? He keeps telling me that no man will marry a girl like me and I have no more confidence in myself.
I know I did wrong by sleeping with his friend and I so regret it but the pain he has put me through made me to do that.
Why are you considering marry him? Please leave that guy alone and pick up your self esteem and move on. There are better men out there please who would treat you good.
D writing on the wall is big and clear, you need to move on with your life, he can still be a father to ur child but nt ur spouse cause clearly you are not happy with him, so let go so another can cme arnd
My dear firstly u dif no wrong sleeping with hus friend n secondly my dear if wat eva u earning is so enough to take care of ur selve even if its not u leave b4 u loose ur life.
walk. away. n do it fast
you must first of all love yourself before anybody can love you……build your confidence and realise that there is someone who love’s you more than any other person in this world.
First of all destroy all contact with the guy…change your number if you can,move out of your place….to avoid the temptation of going back and for your own protection and also to heal and build yourself back up.
You need self confidence and self esteem.
First, you don’t move in with a man that hasn’t married you; you automatically lose your marital worth before him that’s why he says no one can marry you.
Secondly, I’m glad you have a job so you can fend for yourself and your child. Never beg a man to marry you, you will have to continue begging him to stay in the marriage.
Lastly, believe me there are so many men out there that would appreciate and love you sincerely. Move on, don’t look back, upgrade your self mentally and otherwise and you will find happiness.