Dear MIMsters: I Need Help On How to Handle this Mess
I need advice because I am in a big mess.
I am 24 years old and about going to nursing school. I started going out with a guy who I just met. He made me believe he’s a nice guy and I trusted him because of how he made me feel.
He is not based in Nigeria. He’s running a one year program and after which, he might stay or return. When we started going out, he always chatted me up or called me.
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He told me he doesn’t have a girlfriend in Nigeria here and won’t mess with me. I believed him. Whenever he brings up the issue of sex, I always refused. I told him that I am not ready for sex but he can get it anywhere and he told me that he will not force me.
I never knew he had other plans.
One day he asked me to come and see him but I didn’t go. He then sent me a message to help him get some stuffs and bring it to his apartment. When I got there, he held me down and forced himself on me. Even when I begged him not to, he didn’t listen but had his way.
Now, I am pregnant. When I told him, he told me to get rid of it. I told him I would rather face the big shame than have an abortion.
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With the way he behaves, I never expected that he will ask me to abort his baby. I insisted, I will not do it. He then told me already he has a child. I remembered asking him earlier about this when I saw a baby on his Whatsapp profile pic. He told me it was his nephew.
Now, he wants nothing to do with me as I have refused to abort and has even blocked me on WhatsApp. I am so devastated right now and don’t know what to do. I have no where to stay because my siblings will not accept me and I am an orphan.
My heart is bleeding. What will I do? I feel like dying right now as I’m all alone in this. I need advice. I know am a big Fool but please I need advice. No one should insult me as I’m already in a big pain. Someone should help me as I don’t want to abort my baby.
You are not a big fool. He is the big fool for raping someone that trusts him and also lie to you about having a child.
Nne I was once in that shoe, men will give you an impression that are your all in all through thick and thin but I bet you when their true colours come out you will regret ever meeting them. This same thing happened to me, my ex had his way on me while I was still a virgin, he took my virginity away and made me look like a fool, so due to the fact he has had me already I decided to go through with the relationship, this guy will throw me out whenever I come to see him, he would say many painful words to me that made me feel like I was a who’re for giving myself to him, along the line, he got me pregnant, I was devastated just like you are now, when I told him about it he said I should get rid of it, I cried my eyes out, with the kinda life I’ve lived it would be a hug shame to me to carry a pregnancy when am not married and not even that the idiot supports me financially, he is always broke, I thought and thought on how to go through such mess cuz I know the family I come from, I had to get rid of the baby, I almost died, he didn’t give a damn, during that period I felt I lost something precious, I regretted ever doing it, I would cry everytime. Then during Shiloh (am a winner), I went to the alter when general overseer said whatever you think you have done, abortion, any sin of any type you should come out that God would forgive you, I came out, and poured out my heart to God and ended that relationship, even till today, the fool is still disturbing me. Why am I narrating this story, please don’t go through any abortion, he wants to ruin your life, I was there and the experience no be beans, you might not survive it, don’t waste your life for a fool, God will surely help you, it’s not easy but God will see you through.
Please dont abort this baby.send me an email,i will help you
You are not a fool and pls don’t do anything to hurt yourself or your baby. Pls narrate your problem to any of your siblings whom you thin is understanding. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. It’s not you fault. Most guys will not want to take responsibility when they are not ready for marriage.
Thank God you know where he stays, you may need to get your family involved to take care of you during pregnancy and also the baby but pls don’t allow anyone force you to marry him.
Having a child is a blessing and not a misfortune. You just ignore all the people that will mock you, they will later come back to praise you for your bravery. Some will even be envying you later in life.
Continue with your education and don’t let the pregnancy stop you from achieving your goals in life.
u never can tell just tlk to any off ur siblings.pls dnt abort.
Talk to someone in your family to lead you to get justice.