Dear MIMsters: Can I Really Lead a Happy Life Without In-Laws Like Mine? Please Advise
I’m a first time mum who wants to know if I can lead a happy life without in-laws like mine
Somehow, my in-laws concluded that I am the one who doesn’t allow my hubby call and always visit them, which is not true.
They said my mum and I are the ones manipulating my husband and that is why he places me so much higher than them.
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They have one man among them who calls himself a man of God who told my in-laws that I lack respect and talk to him like a kid which is not true. When hubby saw our chats, he didn’t see anything wrong with it. I used ‘Sir’ mostly.
They even insulted my mum and told hubby to always stand his ground as a husband in the house and should have no say. Hubby also changed towards me as he stopped helping me with house chores as he used to nor listen to me. It was when I cried bitterly and prayed that I gained his heart back and the love has increased ever since then!
They said all these things behind my back but heard it later. The issue now is, I’ve stopped calling any of them including my MIL because she is the cause of all what happened.
Recently, one of them called my hubby again and asked him what was wrong with me, that I didn’t bring my baby to visit them or call them and for that, I am not a good wife. Hubby lied, telling them that I’ve changed towards him since the last meeting they held. Hubby knows that their plan is to keep directing him like a kid and make him dance to their music.
The next statement the woman who is the Pastor’s made confirmed everything. She told hubby that he should no longer bother about me and start living his life. She told hubby to do what he pleases and should not hesitate to call her husband for directions and counselling. On that note, she ended the conversation.
Later, hubby said to me, “so they want me around them? They don’t care if we separate or not.” Meanwhile, my married is just less than two years old!
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I want to know if my decision to stop calling my in-laws or trying to force myself to make them like me is a good one. I want to live my life and be happy but I want to know, can I really do without them? Or am I putting fire on my head?
I need your candid advise.. Thanks
You can do without them. It’s a good thing they don’t say the things in front of you so ignore them completely and live your life.
In law palava. Some are lucky having good ones and some are bad. Like seriously they were so annoying. My dear you can absolutely do without them they are not God I have learnt my lesson even amidst their whala I thought I can not do without them but over 6 month the world did not come to an end because of their foolish act I decided to work and pray for my husband and children.
It’s dicey.
I will advise that you do not cut them off totally but put them in their place (by that I do not mean confrontation), rather call to greet them from time to time, send them messages etc but don’t put yourself in a situation where they will control you. Form busy always as your home and sanity comes first.
Kindly press ignore and face your life.