8 Parenting Tips to Help You Understand Your Introverted Child Better

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Adesua Iyoyojie

As Africans, we read meanings into everything and fidget about a lot of things, especially if it concerns our children’s emotional, psychology, physical, mental development or issues we do not understand.

We expect our child to act the same as our neighbor’s and friend’s ‘sharp’ kids. We expect them to have the same personality as other kids, forgetting that their uniqueness lie in their personality.

One mistake some parents make is mistaking an introvert child for an autistic child. Some even begin to seek medical attention for the child.

First, let us know the meaning of the word, ‘Introvert’?

An introvert is a person who focuses primarily on their own mind, feelings, or affairs. We commonly call them shy people, as they enjoy their own company.

A clearer way to understand this behavioral trait is how Dr. Laney put it,

“An introvert won’t feel replenished until he goes home and has some time to himself.

These children do not have poor social skills,

They have an inborn need for quiet time to process what they take in by observing.”

I’m sure you get the picture now.

My son used to be an introvert, whenever he saw people he would always run to hide at my back until they left. When visitors came to our home, he stayed in his room. I would practically have to drag him out to see visitors. He always imagined other children wouldn’t like or want to play with him. But all of that changed as he gradually grew out of it.

Some kids never grow out of it. So here are some ways to handle your introverted kid:

1. Accept nothing is wrong with your child
Your child doesn’t need spiritual or medical attention.
He/she has evergy like other children, you just have to make them focus their energy on something they enjoy doing indoors.
My son has no sibling, he is an only child, most of the time he is lonely. I observed he enjoys drawing so I bought crayons and books for drawing, now he draws most of his favorite cartoon characters.
He even write stories, imaginative stories.
That keeps him busy.

2. Time to discover their talent and potentials
When a child is always alone, his brain still works normally ,some of these introverted kids end up as genius because instead of jumping everywhere ,their brain is emitting something else.
They may love to play the piano;
Draw, sketch, weave.
Just monitor them closely and you will discover they prefer doing something other than going out to play.
Focus on that thing and make it grow on them.

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3. Don’t use insultive words on them
When other kids are shouting, throwing things everywhere and they rather stay out of sight, don’t use words like ‘dull’ or ‘unintelligent’ on them. Don’t say words like ‘you are slow like a snail’. Your words matter.

4. Don’t compare them with other kids
Like I earlier stated, kids are unique in their own way.
Like the saying, if you judge a fish by his inability to climb a tree, he will forever look down on itself.. Allow them shine in their own way. .

5. Accept their friends and get them closer to extended family .
Introverted kids hardly make nor keep friends.
Help them keep friends.
If you notice your kid enjoys been around a particular classmate or neigbour, please allow them come over to the house to visit regularly.
When they want to go visiting friends, allow them go.
Take them out to the park to play or anywhere they can enjoy company.
Family also helps, you could send them over to meet other cousins their age etc

6. Don’t be an introvert.
You can’t be a loner like your child.
Go out sometimes and catch fun.

7. Don’t be abusive.
Force cannot change a personality of a child especially when the Child iS not causing any harm.
Slapping and hitting them to talk or act won’t help.
Counselling will forever remain the acceptable way to a child’s heart.
You could talk to the child and give reasons why they should do something.

8. Work with their school teachers.
Their school teacher might have a hard time understanding and working with an introverted child but make them know before hand the kind of child you have.
Tell the teacher to also assist you by giving him group assignments or projects that makes him associate with other classmates.

Are you raising an introvert at home? What are your experiences? Leave a comment and share with other parents.