15 Keys to Boost Your Child’s Self-Confidence (Part One)

Adesua Iyoyojie

My son had a problem interacting with other kids. He said because they were better than him. It affected him academically, to this extent his grades were falling. His self-confidence was at an all time low.

Upon investigation I realised whenever any kid in his class finished writing their exam before him , he stops writing because he felt there was nothing to write anymore since everyone had stopped.
It wasnt an easy thing to overcome.

Some parents don’t know that neglecting it could make the kid grow to become prey to bullies and not believe in themselves.
I always tell my son he is a superhero just like the thundermans – the thunderman is a show on Nickelodeon about a family of super heroes. I always tell him he is a super hero and he believes it.
Although it took a while but at the end he believed.

Parents can also kill the confidence of their kids themselves unknowingly.

Here are some ways to help your child improve his self confidence

1. Compliments

Young kids need plenty of encouragement, whether they’re learning to crawl, how to eat, how to poo, how to bathe,throw a ball, or draw a circle.
The other side of the coin is when you always say good job, excellent, the child may have a hard time realising when his deeds and accomplishment are really worth celebrating.
If he doesn’t do anything worth celebrating, you should take it easy on the compliments because he might begin to feel you are exaggerating and won’t take it seriously.

When a child does what he is supposed to do, don’t praise them.
Don’t praise a child for bathing and brushing everyday, for cleaning up after their mess, for washing the dishes. A simple weldone is okay.
Let them know your compliment is worthy, that way they appreciate it and strive to be better when they hear it

2. Allow them to FEEL

Every parent dont want their kid to feel even a pinch. It is natural to want to prevent your child from getting hurt, feeling discouraged, or making mistakes, but when you intervene you don’t teach them lessons they need to learn themselves.
For example when your child wasnt invited to the neigbourhood children’s party, trying to get them invited by all means might make them begin to think they are not good enough and that is why they weren’t invited. Or you begging their class teacher to give them an easy class assignment. You’re not helping that child.

Kids need to know that it’s okay to fail, and that it’s normal to feel sad, anxious, or angry, They learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles, not by having you remove them. It’s particularly important for young children to have the chance to play and take risks without feeling that their parents will criticize or correct them for doing something wrong.

I was sewing my son shirt one day and he was watching me with keen attention, he was wondering how I was doing it so perfectly, I purposely made a mistake and quickly got a razor blade and fix the situation. He was impressed with how I quickly handled the situation.
When your kids see you mess up and not make a big deal about it will make them feel so much better.

3. Let them Make Decisions

My son was given a project In school to either draw some object or grow a plant. I left him to make that decision, he decided to draw, I only provided money for the tools he would use.
He felt happy making that decision
When your child gets the chance to make choices from a young age, they will gain confidence in their own good judgment. Of course, kids love to run the show, but having too much control can be overwhelming; it’s best to give your child two or three options to choose from. At the same time, let your child know certain choices are up to you.

4. Allow them THINK

Always encourage them to think about specific ways to improve a situation and bring them closer to their goals.
The plan might sound funny or not make sense but give them a chance to make them realise they can actually think.

5. Focus and grow their Special Interests

My son loves drawing and paper craft . I realised this when my books always end up torn and shaped into something.
I bought crayons and more pencils
Try to expose your child to a wide variety of activities, and encourage him when he finds something he really loves. Kids who have a passion feel proud of their expertise and are more likely to be successful in other areas of their life. and you can also help your child take advantage of his interest to connect with others.
For example his classmate loves sports , I told him to connect with that sport.
Now he draws things relating to football and have interest in it.

6. Power of negotiation
Kids are confident when they’re able to negotiate getting what they want. If your child comes to you and complains that a kid took her to, ask what she thinks would be a good way to get it back. Even if her first idea is to grab the toy, ask her what she thinks might happen if she did. Then ask, “Can you think of other ways to get it back so that doesn’t happen?”

7. Look for Ways to Help Others

Whenever I give my boy money to drop in a beggar’s plate, he feels good.
When children feel like they’re making a difference they feel more confident.

 

All kids eventually grow up and live their lives without us. How they live will depend partly on whether we’ve been able to rise above our own anxiety and our impulse to guide our children.

You know the old adage about giving our children roots and wings? Unconditional love is the roots. Confidence is the wings.