Dear MIMsters: I Am Hitting The Big 30 and This Issue Is Tearing Me Apart
Hello MIMsters, please allow me to pour my heart out and let go of this issue that has been tearing at me.
My birthday is next month, I know this may sound silly but I’m scared to turn 30. I’m scared because I have never been in a serious relationship. I ended the last one I thought was serious 8 years ago because I had broken my vow of not having sex until I was married. I lost my virginity to him. I was 22 years old then.
SEE ALSO: Is John Legend & Wife Chrissy Teigen Having Marital Problems? | Wedding Anniversary Today
Initially, we agreed not to get intimate but it happened some months later. I decided not to have sex anymore, he didn’t fancy that so I broke up with him. Ever since then, I find it hard to hold a
serious relationship because of the same reason. Lately, I have been bothered not only because of my age, but because of the prophecy of a particular pastor which always turns out to be true.
At a vigil I attended with my family, he publicly said that our last born, my youngest sister would get married before me. That was 2 years ago, and now my sister is 20 years old. I would definitely not be mad or envious of my younger ones if they eventually got married before me, or had kids before I did. My only worry is that this sister of mine is 10 years younger than I am, people would start wondering if there was something wrong with me, if this prophecy comes to pass, how old would I be before I get married then?
SEE ALSO: Legendary Singer Tuface Idibia Talks About Family Life & Priorities
Recently, I met two guys who are both 35 years old and they really want to have a relationship with me. When I let them know that I will not have sex until I am married, they first frown at it and later accept it with statements like “well let’s see how it goes, but what about romance/touching?”. I don’t want any of that also until I seal the deal. I keep praying to God to give me a man that would not need to be convinced about not having sex until marriage. I’ve asked him to give me a man who knows and would stick to the fact that pre-marital sex is a NO.
I have met several guys and the ball keeps rolling that way. I’m beginning to consider having sex after all, I have friends who indulged in it before marriage and they are happily married. But again, I don’t know if I would be able to forgive myself and accept God’s forgiveness if I give in. It took me years to heal and accept that I had been forgiven after I lost my virginity.
SEE ALSO: Dear Mimsters: My Marriage Has Brought Me Nothing But Sorrow and Pain
I keep meeting this kind of men, I don’t know what to do, the born-again brothers aren’t left out. But won’t I ever get married? I don’t know what to do or why I’m saying all this, but I feel like letting out my worries..
You are being too hard on yourself. Take your mind off the prophecy, off you turning 30, off marriage and see how you will be free. Marriage is not the ultimate please. There’s more to life.
my dear you have to die before u go to heaven.
Not necessarily dear
Lets read 1 Thess 4:16-17
16For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will be the first to rise. 17After that, we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord.…
Amen
The Prophesy should be what you have to build your life upon, and since you are very convinced that premarital sex is evil and sin before God which made you not to think about indulging in it before marriage do keep it that way, the real man meant or prepared for ha snot showed up and just stop being hard to yourself, it may seemed time is running out but real sense of it is that God has a purpose for everything and most of those turns out to challenges that seems to hard to cope with. What you did in past has gone with the past, just build a new life in Christ and keep praying for God to see your tears. And just to add not every prophesy always turns out to be true, Prophesies can be overturn when God get involves in your case. Your man who will love you and cherish you will showcase sooner than later. Good luck.
Pls y are u bothered on living a life in d will of God? Are u not on God’s side? Are u a christian by mere confession? Or u are just honouring God with ur lips n far away in heart? or ur other areas of life are nt acceptable to HIM aside virginity? l had similar issue, l am in late 30s now. Three immedoate sistrrs are married, l am nt afraid for HE is able
Dearly, your worries are genuine and very normal in this our times. Trust me, you are very right on all points and arguments not to open yours legs before marriage. sex DOES NOT guarantee marriage in any sense. Remain faithful, the right man who is God fearing enough to uphold and respect you, your beliefs and biblical principles is on his way. Serious and God fearing men look out for women with brains, ideas, principles, discipline, respect etc. to settle with not the one who opens her legs.
God is going to reward you with that man very soon, just remain faithful.
I would recommend that you download this book “Act Like a Lady think like a man” by Steve Harvey from pdfdrive.net – it’s free and very helpful.
Take it easy on yourself, you love God and you know He wants only the best for you. Which includes your happiness, u just need to trust him with your life concerns. Don’t have sex if u don’t want to and for a husband, you will find him, pray about it and build your self as d kind of wife u want to be. Make your self happy
Some one who will love and respect you for been a true will show up. Don’t be hard on yourself, live the life. There is nothing wrong if your younger sister is married before you. My two younger sisters are married and I’m 32yrs old. God makes all things beautiful in his own time.
My dear, God is a faithful God n He will never leave you nor forsake you. I was also in that situation (he situation of NO FORNICATION) it wasnt easy, most of the guys i meant wants sex but i said no. I was fed up but God prove Himself mighty, i am happily married now. Forget about the prophet and his Prophecy (what kind of Prophecy is dat), Prophecies are meant to edify and not to pull down, did he pray for you after giving you the prophecy? My dear you have to battle your marriage out with the devil (cos God had already given you your husband). Dont let issue of marriage weigh you down, work on urself, be happy, do things dat makes you happy. Remember Marriage and Sex is not the ultimate in life, a man dat loves you will not be bothered if you decide to WAIT till after marriage.