What You Need to Know About Sex After Child Birth (Part 2)

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In Part 1, we have talked about the changes that happen to a mother’s body after the experience of child birth and how she needs to take things slow and do what works for her. You have nothing to prove by rushing back into sexual activities soon after child birth, but you need to carry your partner along in the process.

Sexual intimacy and orgasm can still be achieved in the waiting period, regardless of whether you are ready for sex or not. You should try not to push your partner away at this time, communicate your feelings with them.

Here are ways you can achieve intimacy and orgasm after child birth:

Hand petting of the man by the woman – what’s often called a hand job. You can stimulate the penis of your lover with your hands using natural oils like almond and olive oil to achieve orgasm.
Hand petting of the woman by the man – using his fingers to stimulate her clitoris. Stroke and rub the outside of her sex organs. It’s quite safe to pay plenty of attention to her clitoris, which is well away from the area where stitches are put in.

But he should not put his fingers inside her vagina until she has had her postnatal examination and the doctor or midwife has said that everything has healed up.

Oral sex performed on the man by the woman. This type of foreplay – termed fellatio – often provides a great relief to a male who is desperate for sexual release. Try this out with your partner to help him achieve orgasm.
Mutual caressing of various other parts of each other’s bodies. With lots of intense foreplay you both can maintain sexual intimacy in your marriage.

These are best sex positions to try out.

For the first few sex sessions after childbirth, it’s a good idea to choose a position in which the woman can control the pace and depth of penetration.

A position with her on top, or one where both partners lie side-by-side facing each other, may be more comfortable.

If you’ve had a Caesarean, your scar may still be tender. So an orthodox ‘missionary’ position may not be a good idea. Try doing it with your man behind you!

Is there anything we should avoid?

Yes. Please heed this important warning!

This activity – often termed cunnilingus – is definitely off limits during the first few of months after childbirth.

Why? For two reasons.

It could introduce infection into the vagina and womb.
Even more seriously, it has occasionally led to death. These tragedies have occurred because the man has (often accidentally) managed to blow air into the vagina. Air can very easily get into the blood vessels of the newly-delivered womb – and cause an often fatal illness called ‘air embolism’.

What do you do if the woman doesn’t regain her interest in sex?

There are situations where the woman does not regain her interest in sex, this is quite common. Please bear in mind that it could be a symptom of postnatal depression (PND).

If the woman is at all depressed, or shows any signs of depression she should see her Doctor.

Otherwise, the best thing for the couple is to get counselling from an expert in sexual problems, for instance.

With commonsense advice, a loving couple can usually gets things sorted out – though it may take some months.

Note to male partners: Be gentle and be patient. Don’t try and force your way in – and do not pressure your partner into having sex before she is ready!

Don’t forget birth control. It’s very easy to become pregnant again – far sooner than you intended. Try and decide on some form of family planning by the time your baby is four weeks old. If in doubt, ask the doctor at your postnatal examination about contraception.