10 Things African Parents Should Have Said To Their Children But Didn’t

OGBUGOH JOY

While the parents of the younger generation in Africa have come a long way and are beginning to positively change the narrative, a good number of parents in are still raising their children without saying those important things that every child needs to hear. Every child wants validation and there’s no better place to get it than from home.

Below is an inexhaustible list of things you should say to your child and conversations you must have to clear their inquisitive and troubled minds.

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1. I love you : This goes without saying but when was the last time you told your child, “I love you?” say it as often as you can and mean it.

2. You are beautiful just the way that you are: Many children feel insecure about themselves. As they grow and mingle with other children, they begin to notice their differences and sometimes get picked on for their peculiar characteristics. If you keep telling your child how beautiful and handsome they are, regardless of their differences, it would build their confidence and make them ready to face the world.

3. I am proud of you….: Some African parents live by the popular saying that says, “A person should not be praised to their hearing” and so, do not make it a habit to praise their children to their faces for fear of “spoiling” the child. But this assumption is wrong. When a mother tells the child exactly the things that he or she does that they like, it encourages the child to do more of such things, and it also let’s them know that their parent is proud of them. This means a lot every child. Many children grow up not knowing if they did anything right because they are never told.

4. Never be afraid to tell me anything, no matter who is concerned and I will stand by you as long as you are telling me the truth:  This type of assurance can do a lot for a child. Many children grew up being abused by close family relatives but never told anyone about it and endured the abuse for God knows how long. This is because they lacked the confidence to tell their parent and feared being punished for uttering such abomination. Parents need to assure their children of their unwavering support in times like this. 

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5. I believe you: Words are indeed very powerful, they have the ability to build up a person. Saying to your child that you believe her is an assurance that she needs to get from you. However, African mothers would rather say, “Ehen, I have heard you” and dismiss the child. That is not good enough, you need to let your child know that you believe them

To be continued...