Oprah Winfrey Gets Real on Why She Never Wanted to Have Her Own Biological Children
Once again, Oprah Winfrey in a sit down with Gwyneth Paltrow‘s first episode of “The Goop” podcast, is opening up on why she never wanted children in her life.
Despite being often regarded as a major source of inspiration by many, the 64-year-old Media mogul and philanthropist, disclosed that she took the decision not to have kids because she doesn’t have motherly instincts, Independent News reports.
Oprah Winfrey, one of the most successful women in the world, further disclosed that she couldn’t have raised two babies like Paltrow, because raising kids would have been too frustrating and she would have been a terrible mother because she can’t communicate with anyone who cannot speak.
Throughout the two women’s conversation, Oprah discussed her choice to refrain from having kids—she just doesn’t like babies at their tender age.
She also explains the rich and varied ways that decision has led her to be a mother beyond the conventional definition, to women ranging from the students at the school she founded in South Africa, to her friend and A Wrinkle in Time director Ava DuVernay—and arguably, her many viewers and fans.
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Oprah further disclosed that channeling her nurturing instincts toward people other than biological children, has made her the dynamo she is today and her success is based on her ability to relate to others.
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”I don’t think I would have been a good mother for baby children, because I need you to talk to me, and I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t just figure it out.
And I was always—I knew this about myself. I was always better with kids once they turned two-and-a-half, three, I had a real resonance with them. Gayle was like, “Don’t you love babies?” I was like, “Oh babies are fine.” … It didn’t feel like it was for me.
So I was searching even for that: What is the higher ground for me? Where will I be able to find my instinct for nurturing and caring and support for other people? Where will that show up for me, and how will that show up for me?”
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One outlet Oprah found for this instinct is outside Johannesburg, South Africa, where she created the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, a boarding school for young women in grades eight through 12.
She refers to the students there as “my beautiful South African daughters,” and describes a relationship far less fraught than many tied by biological motherhood.
“I don’t have that parenting thing of: ‘You gotta do well, cause it makes me look good,’” says Winfrey. “I just have your highest well-being as my only agenda.
“That, to me, is the ideal characteristic of a mother,” replies Paltrow. “And it’s so difficult … to not project and not see your own shortcomings in your kid and get triggered by it.
It’s so funny because you’re technically not a mother—and that is the most profound and insightful sentence about mothering. You just really crystallized something for me there.”
Photo credit: Getty Image
Even though she doesn’t have her own biological children, she has children she cares for.