Dear MIMsters: I am Married but Living Off My Baby Daddy and this is Causing Me Distress
Living off my baby daddy while being married to another is causing me so much distress.
My husband hardly spends on me or give me money. He complains and tells me he’s got no money anytime I ask him to meet my needs.
We have a 10 months-old baby who’s just started on cerelac after different trials. He complains whenever I tell him the baby’s food is finished.
I’m in my fourth year in school but my hubby does not support me in any way. My mum foots my bill and even sometime sends some money for my upkeep.
READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Are My Pastors Are Right To Say What My Husband Did Is Not Enough Reason to Leave
I had a son before I met my husband. He is 6 years old. His father and I went our separate ways and he got married to someone else before I met my husband. He’s been actively supporting his son for almost 2 years now. He gives me no worries about my son’s school fees and upkeep. I end up using from the excess of my son’s child support to get little things my second son and I need.
Sometimes when there’s no food, I take money from my son’s account to cook but never at the detriment of my son’s need. Sometimes I tell myself that if it wasn’t for my first son’s father, I won’t have been able to afford to do or buy some necessities. Half of my second son’s clothes was bought with his brother’s child support money. Even though, my ex abandoned me for years, he’s come around to take care of his responsibilities. I’m tired of relying on my son’s child support money and on my mum.
My hubby says he cares but does nothing to help me out, knowing fully well that I am still studying. I have school projects and stuffs I need money for but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know how I get money from my son’s account but he never ask how I manage sometimes.
READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Learn From My Story that Submission is not Foolishness
I’ve been having some serious medical conditions but as usual, my husband never asked me about my needs nor did he give me money to sort the hospital bills today. I had to come back home without running the test and scans I was told to do because I don’t have the means to do it. Do I run to my mum again after all the help she has been rendering? I wish I wasn’t married, at least, I would have been able to ask from friends.
Being with my husband is causing me so much stress. I’ve been thinking. Please tell me, how should I handle this?
Hmmm! Obviously this man doesn’t care a dime about you. Stop taking money from ur first sons account to cook for him, stop attending to any financial need that he will have a share in. At the same time, stop asking from him, give him the silent treatment, act as if he doesn’t exist in your life, if your mum can, let her raise u money to start a small biz that will not clash with ur studies. You just have to be independent of him. All the best.
Not to worry… just work ur butt off and make ur own money and take care. simple. You can, cant you?
In a short time you will graduate and hope will be okay financially… sorry darl
Stop using another man’s money to cook for him … when hunger beat am several times him eye go neat
Well..if he truly doesn’t have the money like he said. You just have to manage with whatever you are getting. There are people who are going through worse situation. I’m sure this is just a phase,things will be better.
Mtscheeeeeeewwww that’s no man abeg.
Do u tink he has d money bt refuses to give u whn needed, if yes u don’t nid to use ur sons money to cook for him, still b managing ursef till u r 2ru with ur studies. Wish 9ja is whr u graduate n get wrk immediately. All d same u can start a sml biz with d help of ur mum. Gudluck
I go with Eva Grant
Don’t depend on him, get a job or sttart up a business of ur own.
My dear pls dnt depend on him,just be managin or beta stil ask ur mum to help u open a bizness to fetch u money instead of dependin on her all dy tym,it well
Find something doing to. Empower yourself. And pray for him and report him to any elderly person that he listens to.
whenever he come for sex tel him he has to pay u first if he refuse u too close ur legs if he like let him go out cos out dia too is not free,if he stil refuse my dear workout of that marriage cos u are being used thats all,he cares nothing for u or his own child,even ur x do far better than him.if i have to pay my every need then what is the use of marryin?i dont blame fumi iyanda who just had a baby and live her life as a single mother after al what can a man give her that she does not have?
Stop feeding him with money from another man.Thank God for ur mother,persevere and finish school,get a job and ignore him.God ll see u thru.
You are married to yourself
Gbam
Is it that he doesn’t have or he has and refused to give you? Doesn he earn well? Its more like you aren’t married so just forget about him. Let your mom assist you if she can. Hopefully you’ll soon be through with school and get a good job. Try and start up a small bizness that you can do while still going to school and one that will create time for your kids too
Pack am one side
Please you are not married ; your family should return your dowry if he paid any.
you didn’t tell us whether he’s working and the type of work he’s doing. anyways, u Lol soon graduate. get a job and be independent. it is well o.
you didn’t tell us whether he’s working and the type of work he’s doing. anyways, u will soon graduate. get a job and be independent. it is well o.
So sad. Pls look for help from ur mum. Explains tins to her n let help u for now. Tell her to talk to ur hubby too. U cant be living with him n he will nt feed u. Dat is so wrong.
You are married to yourself @ peggys place no be small one ..when a married woman begins to feed from hand to mouth when the hubby can provide is a bad one..may God provide for you tiil you finish and can stand on your own
Stop using your 1st son’s money for him. From all indication, your husband does not love you and you’re only there as his maid. Just sit him down and talk to him, if possible, involve his family members. I pray the lord see you through.
Don’t depend on him. Look for a business and start from somewhere no matter how small. You will be fine
Report him to God meanwhile dnt get pregnant for him until he comes around
Stop taking care of his responsibilities if u continue like this even when u get a job he will leave d family for u to run.if there’s no food to bother cooking fine what y will eat n ignore him mtweeeeee
Pray for God assistance in ur life and dat of the new baby,soon u will be through with ur studies,but before den start up a small biz to support urself n ur child.den relocate to ur mum’s.
Try and get something doing and focus your money on your kids
Dat man is nt man enough…God knws I can’t cope with his type. Pls don’t thnk of having anoda baby with him for nw, until he wakes up and face his responsibility as a man.
If he has the money and still refuses to help out then i suggest u stop using ur childs support money on him
Stop robbing Peter to pay Paul, stop taking from your child’s welfare to fend for your family. Be bold for a moment and let things show their true position and colour.
If he cares not to make a difference then he is not worth being a husband and father.
Try and calm down n talk to him
The first is a mistake, what do we call the second?
Make him to be responsible for his child and don’t cook for him. Some men needs to be hard on before they wake up to reality
I really feel for u,I thank God dat u’ll soon round off ur degree programme so dat u can get a job. Don’t cook 4 him again with another man’s money. Tell him to work hard n take care of u n him son,meanwhile don’t get pregnant again till things stabilise. If u can(with ur mum’s support)start a business dat u can merge with ur studies. Make sure u finish ur programme cos dats ur meal ticket. God’s grace!
Don’t settle with a man that doesn’t give a horse shit about you.
a husband should be man enough to take care of his wife.
Use tongue 2 count ur tongue
Use ur tongue 2 count ur teeth
Hhhmmm. Its a pity
Difficult to judge from one side of the story. Be honest, get us his side of the story so that we can make fair comments. I can only advice you not to provoke more hatred between you two, otherwise your record of ex’s will increase. You are most likely to feel his importance only when you get separated. We’re usually quick to blame and not question our own attitude, possibly he’s never been married. Do all that you can to maintain your peaceful marriage home, he surely has good plans for the family.
As touching as your story is, you failed to let us know whether your husband is making the money or not and what efforts have you made to discuss this intimately with him as a family.