Why ”My mom’s death would be a relief to me” – Harrowing Story of Woman ‘Raised’ By Her African Mother

My chest tightens whenever she asks me for money. Like…okay..how are you asking someone whom you kept on telling that you want nothing from them even if they ever made it in life? I personally don’t think I’d cry if my mom died, it would be such a relief tbh. She hurt me a lot.

She tormented me. She was supposed to be my best friend, she was supposed to protect me from this cruel world, but no I had to learn how to have my own back. I had to learn that I’m beautiful..on my own without anyone’s validation. She failed me as her only child.

Don’t tell me “she’s your mom”, she never played that role. I was her punching bag whenever my step dad did something to upset her. I was so young…I feared my mom. My heart would race whenever she came back from town. I found peace when she had gone out for a few hours.

Guys, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I remember praying to wake up old and in my own place where she couldn’t hurt me. I never enjoyed my childhood because I was my mother’s punching bag.

I never had a chance to study throughout primary school…I was always scared and terrified. I don’t know how I survived my mom. I honestly don’t know how I survived the monster she was.

I’m so grateful for @go2uj for their Psyched services, UJ didn’t only offer me education but for 4 years it moulded me & made me a better person. I doubt I could have been this woman I am today if I never had a psychologist from 1st year until my final year. I healed.

I still have this one memory that makes me laugh but it’s sad okay. So she instructed me to cook pap & I did but it was under cooked because I was young…So she made me eat the whole pot while slapping me ????????????‍♀️. Wow..guys what if I was adopted?

Guys stop saying this was discipline. I was never a problem child. I was even isolated from other kids, I had no one to play with. I was always drawing people on the yard at home, even the drawing pissed my mom off. Also this is not even half of my story..it’s a glimpse.

My step sister fell pregnant twice and she would just come drop off her babies and run away. She played herself because my mom would throw her two boys on cemented floor just for crying, now they are not okay mentally because of my mom.

When I’m strong enough & ready to let the world in…I will explain why I have operation scars that start from thighs down to my legs. But today I just wanted us all to know that a mother can break you. I’m glad I never broke. I’m a phenomenal woman because of all this.

I’m okay now. I’m far away from her. I went for therapy for about 4 years because I needed to build myself & heal. I needed to be okay so that I too could be a good therapist… the therapist I am today.

I forgave her but I don’t think I owe her anything, my psychologist told me to block her and cut her off.

Let’s heal guys. I tell my patients my story…all of it, every time I hear them say “I should die, there’s no hope for me”. I tell them that..I…myself..I’m the tangible hope they need. It works all the time. We gonna be great ????????!!”