Dear MIMsters: Hubby has been given the ultimatum to choose. Me or his father?
Hubby has been given the ultimatum to choose between me and his father. Here’s my story…
“Mariam, you have only 15 minutes to spend at that party. Come back home afterwards. Just show your face to the celebrant and return home. Mummy needs to eat a fresh soup today, and her laundry must be attended to; it is piling up already.”
That was my father-in law again.
Yes, we live in the family house but we stay in a different quarters from theirs. My parents-in-law have female children who they do not disturb. According to MIL, those ones are in their own husband’s houses, so ‘I am the one who deserves to die serving my parents-in law’. Hubby doesn’t even see any big deal in what his parents do to me. As far as he is concerned, I’m a woman and such chores shouldn’t be difficult for me. He once told me I behaved like someone who lacked good and proper home training every time I complain to him, so I have learnt to bear it all alone.
My best friend was christening her twin girls. She had been TTC for 7 years and when God finally answered her prayers, we, her friends planned a big christening party.
Can you now imagine FIL telling me to just show my face at the party and return home? When I told hubby, he said for peace sake, I should obey his father. MIL never goes against whatever FIL says, so hubby expects me to be that way, too. Does that make any sense?
Anyways, I made sure I stayed till the end of the party and when I returned home, FIL banned me from entering their side of the house. He banned me from cooking for MIL and himself. He has since refused to acknowledge my greetings; and after some days, MIL joined him insisting that I must apologize for disobeying her husband. I apologized but the man refused to accept my apology so I stayed on my lane.
He is dictatorial and expects everyone to jump at his command. For me, this is the best time to live; no worries about bending backwards to satisfy people who never consider my feelings. These are the same people who didn’t lift a finger to assist me when I had my children. They are in their early 70s and they are healthy so it isn’t as if they are so old to sometimes help themselves out. Even when I put to bed, they still waited on me to attend to every of the chore in the house.
If only FIL would let this new game of his continue, but no!
He has reported me to his daughters and he expects hubby to impose it on me to come crawling to apologize again. I have also given hubby an ultimatum to move me out of his father’s house or forget about me. I intend to leave on my own taking my children along with me if he fails to see reasons with me after all, my room in my father’s house is still available, and my parents who are aware of all I have suffered in the hands of my PIL say whatever decision I take is alright with them.
I have given hubby till the end of this month to decide if it’s me or his parents’. No turning back!
Is that the end of the story?
Stand ur ground. This is modern slavery. I agree our african culture permits us to serve our inlaws of which i don’t have problems with, but it shouldn’t be to the extent of u being treated as a maid or slave. If u continue to put up with it , they will never stop.
Your husband/their children can get a house help for them. As for ur husband if he will not protect u stand up for yourself. And prepare yourself for their unreasonable bullying consequences. I have been there myself and.to be honest these inlaws never change. So please stand up for yourself
No turning back oh. This modern day slavery has to stop. What nonsense is that? That FIL of yours is petty. Usually MILs behave the way he is behaving. How do people tolerate such humans? Please stand your ground, you are not a slave, you are a human and a wife they should respect that.