Dear MIMsters: Isn’t it Better to Quit This Marriage Now With Only One Child Involved?

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I need to pour out my heart. My husband and I are legally married. We had our wedding in the church and at the registry. With the way things are going, I’m thinking it’s best to quit now with only on child involved.

I met my husband when he was a low income earner. I thought with time, things would get better, so I accepted to marry him. A year into our marriage, he got a better job, then he started showing his true colour.

He disrespected my mum who came to take care of me when I had a baby. When he does something wrong, it’s an issue to correct him. Then, he started beating me. My parents had to interfere because he would lock the door and pocket the keys when beating me. I don’t hit him back, because I thought it was wrong. But it continued and his family said nothing about it. It got to the extent that my parents had to involve the police, but he did not change. All he kept saying is, “I No dey Fear Anybody, na God I dey Fear.”

We were apart for nine months and his people did not show concern. I decided to go back to my marriage because of my son. He had even started sleeping with different women. We did STIs tests before I went back to him. With what I am experiencing now, I don’t think he can change his character. He has never given me money for any of my welfare. Not even once for my hair.

When I talk to him about it, all he keeps telling me is that I am also working but he gives and borrows outsiders money. Since I married him, I have never received a gift worth 3k from him but he gave his mother 200k for her business. I am not against this but when it comes to me, he will say, he does not have money. When I give him list of things needed in the house, he will give me part of the money and tell me to add mine to it. My younger sister’s wedding is holding this month. There’s been no contributions from him. He keeps saying that he does not have.

I have been taking care of myself as if I am a single mother. The only responsibility he fulfils is to sometimes have sex with me. There’s been no gifts, no outings, and no sweet words. I am Edo, he is Igbo. I know how most Igbo men take care of their wives and family. So is this not wickedness? His attitude is seriously affecting me.

Am I in the wrong marriage? Should I quit now that this marriage is in its early state? I have talked to him severally, but he is not ready to change. Is this kind of marriage meant to last? After all we have only one child. What should I do? Should I ignore him and continue to look after myself? I am so confused.