Dear MIMsters: I’ve Been Thinking of Quitting My Unhappy Marriage. Are These Reasons Enough?

I see a lot of stories here – the good, the bad and the ugly, and I always pray for mine to turn out good but recently I am contemplating quitting my marriage.

I have been married for 3 years now but my happiness stopped weeks into my marriage. I married my husband because I respected him so much and thought I could trust and build a future with him. However, weeks into our marriage, I noticed that he was always complaining about everything I did in the house. It’s either I didn’t clean up well or didn’t arrange well.

I always felt so bad and cried so much. I felt I had made a mistake because he told me he should have married a much younger girl. He would chat and call this particular woman who he once told me he would have married but for her age, and even told me he might take another wife in future. I had no security, no love, no respect, no passion. The situation deteriorated to extent that one day, I told him I was going back to my mother’s house but he begged me and I agreed to stay back.

Few months into my marriage, I got a good job, and surprisingly, I noticed hubby started respecting me a lot but it was too late as I had already formed my opinion about him and was always ready for any form of battle.

As time went on, I discovered more and more heartbreaking things about my husband. He would send messages complimenting other women on their looks or how good they were at work or studies and all, but he never complimented me or anything I did. Rather, he would criticize me, call me names, and all sorts. At a point, I was almost certain that he had other women or was planning to marry them as we are Muslims. I started disliking and disrespecting him.

Presently, I have grown very tough from all those troubles. My heart has been shattered severely, and my intuition tells me he would never make me a happy woman. He once told me during one of our heated arguments that he’s not capable of loving anyone, and that no one can make anyone happy. I was heartbroken but now, being tough hearted makes me express exactly how I feel to him as I don’t care anymore. Surprisingly, he has been playing the victim recently.

I feel we have grown apart, and something tells me that if we stay together we will continue hurting each other to the extent that the emotional abuse turns physical. I am a strong woman now, and I have resolved to stay happy till the end of my life no matter the cost. Apparently, I am ready for a breakup rather than staying in a marriage with no security and love, but I have a young child, and I am afraid of what the consequences may be on her.

What should I do?

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