A Simple Guide To Giving Your Daughter the S*x Talk

OGBUGOH TERUNDU JOY.

Sex education is one topic many moms wish they didn’t have to broach. How to start, what to say and what not to say are some of their worries. Which is why we have complied an age appropriate simple guide to help you on this journey.

TWO – THREE YEARS OLD: Get a chart that shows the drawing of a human body and use that to educate your daughter about her body parts. Point out those parts that are private and should not be touched by anyone, i.e, her vagina, her bum bum, her chest and her lips. You can make it into a song or a rhyme.

READ ALSO: Child Sexuality Education: Have You Started Your Kids on The Bees & Birds Talk Yet?

THREE-FOUR YEARS OLD: Teach her how to squat and wash her pubic area by herself when taking a shower. This way, she will understand that no one is allowed to touch her “there” except her.

FOUR – TEN YEARS OLD:

1. Tell her not to sit on any man’s laps – including an uncle,  a stranger, and teach her to refuse kisses on the lips from everyone including cousins and uncles.
2. Tell her exactly what a vagina and penis is. Children are curious beings, they would eventually want to find out so it’s best they hear it from you. So tell your child that a vagina is used to pee and to make babies, that if a man puts his penis into a woman’s vagina, it creates a baby but this act is practiced by grown ups who are in love and married.
3. Teach Her About Consent: Emphasize to her that no one is allowed to touch her body except she allows it. That if anyone tries to forcefully touch her pee pee or bum bum, that she should run out and report to you or her daddy.

BOOST YOUR CHILD’S CONFIDENCE: Many children who were assaulted kept it from their parents because they were afraid. Building your child’s confidence in you is the key. Raise your child to tell you everything. This is done by listening to everything your child tells you instead of  dismissing her.  Children may lie about minor things but it is unlikely for a child to lie about sexual harassment, their minds simply cannot fathom such profanity if they aren’t taught. Let your child know that she can always talk to you, no matter the situation or who may be involved.

10- 13 YEARS OLD:  Discuss about puberty, lecture your daughter on what a menstrual cycle is, what it means and what changes it can bring to her body. Encourage her to come to you as soon as she sees that first flow of blood.

READ ALSO: Warning Signs a Woman Should Not Ignore About Her Health

13- 18YEARS OLD:

1. Talk about Condoms: Just because you asked her to wait till she gets married to have sexual intercourse does not mean that she will. So tell her everything she needs to know about condoms, should she chooses to have sex earlier. 
2. Talk About Sexual Transmitted Diseases: STD’S go hand in hand with sexual activity so educate your child and let her know that it happens as a result of unprotected sex.
3. Tell Her About Unwanted Pregnancies and how it can disrupt her education. Let her know that unprotected sex will most likely lead to an unwanted pregnancy.
4. Talk About Relationships: At some point, your daughter will have a crush or fall in love with some boy at school. No matter how much you don’t want it, Cupid’s arrow will one day hit her. So help by guiding her. Forbidding it and troubling her may push her further away, so be her friend instead and guide her with your knowledge and experience.
5. Let her know that sex is not love, but love is caring, consistency, devotion, loyalty, helping each other when in need etc. That way, the boy  she loves/has a crush on cannot coerce her into sexual relations when she is not ready for it.