Lamentations of a Mother-In-Law: Dear Mimsters, I will not be going to my son’s house for Omugwo (PartTwo)
Continued from here.
One night, she served me late in night as usual but I rejected the food. She called my son’s attention and he scolded me for making his wife uncomfortable with my attitude of dissatisfaction and ungratefulness.
He said, “Mum, this woman has been up all day taking care of a baby and you. The least you could have done was to appreciate the food you are served. Understand that she’s been up all day. She doesn’t even get enough time to rest. Please stop stressing her.”
I was shocked! Is this the son I raised? Tuoyo!? When did he become so arrogant? Ajike had fed him with so many tales and sadly, he believed her. He didn’t even think he should check with me!
I knew it was time for me to leave for my own home so I started the countdown for my exit.
The next day, her mother visited thus I excused myself so I could get some food down the street, since her freezer had gone under lock and key again.
As I came out of the canteen, Temisan drove past. She saw me and reversed. When she asked to know what I was doing in a canteen, I told her all that’s what has been happening to me in Ajike’s hands. I pleaded with her neither to tell her brother nor confront his wife. I told her to go back to her home and that when I returned to my own home; she could come and visit me. I know Temisan is hot-tempered and I didn’t want her to fight Ajike because of me.
Unknown to me, Mama Ajike had seen me with Temisan. I guess she was taking her leave when she saw us together. She went back into the house and told her daughter. When I got into the house, Ajike wouldn’t let me in. In her words, ‘they’ saw me collecting something from Temisan and ‘they’ concluded it was charms to harm her so she asked me to stay outside. Yes, Temisan gave me an envelope but it was only money it contained.
I know at the stage, some of you reading my story would have wanted me to show her the money but I didn’t care. I had had enough of her cheekiness. I couldn’t take it anymore! I blasted both mother and daughter, and they both took me to the cleaners. Though I was very sad but I decided I wouldn’t report the matter to Tuoyo.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Should I Apologise Just to Protect the Family Bond?
After her mother left, Ajike came to me and tried to apologize because it was almost time for her husband to return from work. I gave her my word that I wouldn’t tell Tuoyo because I do not want their marriage to fail and not because she was begging me. I told her she knew what she was doing and that I will leave her home for her. I told her that I love my son enough to sacrifice my comfort for his happiness and that if I told him and they have issues, people would not know she caused the whole issue. You know it is always easy for everyone to conclude that MILs are evil! Afterwards, I went into the house and stayed on my own till Tuoyo returned.
When he did, I gave him some cooked up stories about going for medical checkups so that I could return to my home and he agreed.
That was two years ago!
Last week, Ajike gave birth to a set of twin babies and Tuoyo has asked me to come for Omugwo, again but I said no. I have told him I would not come but he is insisting on knowing why. Tuoyo is threatening to stay away from me if I do not come to take care of his wife and babies.
Temisan who had obeyed me till now is threatening to tell Tuoyo why I am refusing to come for Omugwo. Ajike is begging me to come, that she regrets all she did to me.
But in all, I am sticking to my guns. I am not going for Omugwo and I would not tell Tuoyo the reason for my stance.
I have told Temisan I would curse her if she tells her brother what she knows. Tuoyo can stay away from me for all I care. I have suffered enough for him and his sister. I refuse for any child to keep me in bondage in my last days. He can keep the financial help he renders to me, too. I know my God will not forsake me.
I choose to stay in my own home. If they really need me, let Ajike come with her children to my house, I will do Omugwo for her in my own home. Till then, I rest my case!
I am so sorry for all you have been true.i wish I had a lovely mother in law like you. Some of us aren’t that lucky.i have never enjoyed true love from my mum in law during pregnancy or omugwo.I think you should forgive her , and have a meeting with everyone, let your Son know everything through your daughter in the meeting. Then let there be reconciliation and love again.Please Ma , you can’t loose your Son now.Much love
Good decision you’ve made.
Hey mama! Stick to your guns. No child and their spouse or spouse’s mother should disrespect you.
Very soon he will realize the truth and come apologize both of them that is including her mother.
Awww…..mama, indeed you are a mother.such a rare gem.
Very pathetic story indeed.but i think your son should know all that his wife&her mother made you go through. You wouldnt forgive yourself if both of them turn on their “monster mode” to your son. You have already made alot of “silent”sacrifices for the sake of their union so kindly do not bottle up issues within you anymore .open up to him about your last experience at their home when you visited for omugwo& do not go for the omugwo. Give them some time still, then visit the family again(preferably when your sons MIL isnt there), make your visit very brief so they would both appreciate your stay..God bless your heart ma.
Life is full of challenges,what av experienced is one of it.don’t think about it too much, ur God will reward u(Iya omo ni en je mama)e de je oro e.for d woman apologizing is not d only way to realize her mistakes, I pray she has a boy among her children ,then she will understand better when d boy become a man.u are a great mother mama
Mama dont be in a hurry you son will soon cry out then you can open her can of worm. Pls take care of yourself
She is very Lucky to have a sweet mother in-law like you. Some of us are not Lucky in that area.please try and forgive her.if you don’t want to go for the omugwo its alright. God bless you mama.
Mama,I am so sorry for all she made you go through. She and her mother were trying to cover up her inadequacies but she eventually made things were for herself. I will suggest you set up a meeting at their house with her mother,your daughter, son and his wife. Tell them everything that happened while you were there and tell them you had given her and will do omugwo,only on the premise that it is done at your house.
i thinks dats ok, let her come to ur house if she really needs you. i stayed with my mother inlaw because her husband refuse her coming over, dat he also needs his wife
Well, u all have agreed with her but as for me i think the MIL too have own flaws. She said they wife served her right? Mama r u not supposed to occupy the kitchen as one that came for omugwo? What is OMUGWUO? To take care of a nursing mother but Some MILs ended up being taken care of. Am sure the DI was tired of all d issues and just have to voice out. Same happened to me, i had my baby thru CS, when my mum came she took care of me, she did all the house chores including bath me and d baby but when my MIL came d only thing he did was to bath d baby without other assistance. Some mothers get am for body, they will come for omugwuo and would not want to work. If she like let her not go, who e help?
Your comment is a foolish my dear read to pay understand. How would she assist in the kitchen when it is under lock……mtcheww
Mummy you’re the best. I wish to be like you. Someday the truth will come to light.
Thank God for how you handled it then but madam, how can the Spirit of God bring the desired peace, if you don’t allow Him, the Bible said if someone offends you go tell them one on one, your son is the real one in a dilemma here, he doesn’t know why his loving mother is keeping a stance from him, how can he know, your keeping him in the dark in this
issue is you doing what his wife wants by not letting him know, and if at this time this issue is not settled properly,,it won’t only affect you other things will creep in, confront the issue in a godly way, peace shall come in, you must disgrace this enemy that wants to hide in your midst, your son’s family is yours too, his wife is your daughter, his children are yours also, pray fervently about this issue before calling your son attention to it.
Remember her mother knows, the lleast let your own child know what is on grounds well, don’t abandon him to them, I will advise you stay in your house until it is settled,.
Even if your son don’t agree or see the truth now it is then you can let sleeping dogs lie until God opens his eyes. The issue here is to make or give room for God to settle and heal your emotions, don’t let it linger any more please, it is already staying long, two plus years. Go for it that is settle it