Dear MIMsters: My Wife Says Divorce is Not an Option But Her Attitude Sucks

My wife’s attitude sucks and she keeps threatening me that divorce is not an option for us as Christians. Is she right?

Thank you MIS for being a platform for us to tell our stories and get sound counsel, we are grateful. It even feels real good to get opinions without paying for it. #Smiles!

The story of the mother in law who refused to go for Omugwo prompted me to write mine.

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I am a young man in my 40s. My mother has five of us, all boys. I remember what our home looked like growing up. My father would give a monthly allowance that my mother would have to spend triple of to sustain us. We ate like we had death sentences hanging over our head, yet she never complained. She worked so hard and today, we are all doing well and giving her joy.

I am the third son. Out of all the wives, my brother and I got married to, my wife is the only one who makes my mother and siblings unhappy and uncomfortable so much that they have all stopped coming to my home.

My eldest brother’s wife, who is not even of the same tribe as us, is such an angel. She treats all of us as kings. My parents, my brothers, our children and all the other wives have found a friend in her. She is a true child of God in whom love is not scarce.

The crux of my story is not my SIL, but about my wife. As good and kind as that SIL of mine is, my wife has finally succeeded in making her react to her bad habits.

“John! I dare you! I hope you remember that we are Christians and divorce is not an option for children of God. You are stuck with me. And you must love me first before your family. You must leave your father and mother, and cleave to me.

“I don’t care if you all worship Agnes in your family. That is your problem o. This is my home and I will not be like that fool called Agnes who is doing eye service. She is thirsty for love but I am not. The love of Jesus is enough for me. Let Agnes go and die! You are my husband, this is our home and you cannot decide for me how to live in my own home!” She walked away and slammed the door shut after her.

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If Janet continues like this, if she continues to keep my united family away from me, I may be forced to ask for a divorce. She has told me we are Christians and I cannot divorce her but we will see about that!

When Janet and I got married five years ago, she was all I wanted in a woman or so I thought. My heart had just been broken by Shola who had led me on for three years and called it quits with no fault from me. I later found out that she had found the son of a popular politician in Lagos who wanted to marry her.

It was while I was depressed about Shola that I met Janet. She was also just coming out of a five year old relationship. She broke up with the guy because the guy treated her badly and he was always beating her and stealing her money.

Needless to say, we both found solace in each other and within a year, we got married.

My family members are ever supportive. We have been through so much together so one person’s joy is everybody’s. Janet and I had their support all the way. They welcomed Janet with open arms and she seemed to be at home with everyone, too.

The first issue started on our wedding day. The caterer wouldn’t serve my brothers’ friends because Janet had not asked them to.

It was Agnes that organized for some food for them to eat and she explained it away as the caterers not telling the truth. She said she was sure Janet didn’t instruct them as they claimed.

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We had our first baby, and during the christening, my people were not served food. Why? The caterer said Janet’s mother told them it wasn’t time to serve food. And when eventually she allowed the caterers to serve, it was as if my people came to beg for food.

Again, this same Agnes was quick to defend Janet and her mother. She said something like the crowd was enormous so there was a need to ration the food so that it would go round.

To be continued....