Dear MIMsters: He’s a Great Guy but I’m Scared Because of This

There’s this great guy that loves me to a fault and he’ll do anything to make me happy. I’ve never felt this loved before.

He’s a very good friend to whom I can talk to about anything without been scared. Yes, sometimes he judges me but he loves me unconditionally regardless. We are in a No sex relationship.

The major problem is that he doesn’t have a good job. He’s a graduate who earns about 35k monthly. He’s the first child and so am I with lots of responsibility on both of us.

I’m still in my semi finals in school but he wants to marry me and wants us to start having kids immediately. He’s 36, while I’m 24.

He lives in his family house with three of his siblings but both of his parents are late. Even though everyone have their personal rooms, I’ve never fancied living in a family house as I don’t want to get involved in any family ish. But he keeps telling me that with time, everything will be fine and that we’ll move out and live on our own.

I’m scared that this might not happen because after the wedding, he might get too comfortable and would not want to leave his family house where I’ll be made to tolerate a lot and endure. The problem is I don’t want to put too much financial pressure on him because we also have the traditional wedding to do which costs a lot.

He has so many realistic dreams but the problem is finance. If he marries me now when I still have a year to go in school, he’ll have to start shouldering my own responsibilities. And when we start having children, there will be more responsibilities.

I’ve asked him to wait till I’m done, to at least allow my parents shoulder the responsibilities of funding my education and to wait until I start working so I can assist him. But he thinks that I’m not in love with him and have no confidence in his capacity while all I’m trying to do is be realistic and practical.

I need advice on what else to do as I’ve prayed. He keeps popping the question and I keep using diplomacy to turn him down with the phrase, “I’m not ready yet.”

He’s a great guy but I’m scared because I feel that sometimes love isn’t just enough but at the same time, I don’t want to push him away. I’m not expecting a “picture perfect” life but I need to think things through.

I need your candid advice please.