Dear MIMsters: I Wish I Had The Guts To Walk Out Of My Marriage
I wish I had the guts to leave my husband but …
My husband has no regards for me as his wife. He treats me shabbily, talks to me anyhow, anywhere and on a few occasion, he has laid his filthy hands on me but I can’t help it- I love him with every breath in me.
We met in church where we were both serving in the Ushering team. He was the General Secretary of the team while I was the deputy head of the team. These positions necessitated our having to work together often and from there, a love affair developed and we got married after two year courtship.
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All through our courtship, Dare was a perfect gentleman. He encouraged my work in the church and even my secular job. Though a graduate of Economics, I opted to train and work as a beautician. My boss is a celebrity and many of her co-celebrity friends patronize her beauty parlour. We, the staff made more than enough money from tips given to us by our clients.
During our courtship, Dare visited me at work often and saw how rigorous my job was. I was always so tired when I got home but I was fulfilled with the job I was doing. Many of our celeb clients loved me and gave me lots of gifts.
Immediately after our wedding, Dare ensured that I resigned from my responsibilities in the ushering team. His reason was that my secular job was too tedious and time-consuming so I would need to rest well now that we were married. Though I did not like the idea, I submitted to him as my husband.
It wasn’t long after we got married that I took in and we had a baby girl. After my maternity leave, I decided to get a nanny but my husband would not hear of it. We stay in Ikorodu, my job is on the Island and his parents stay at Ogba. Dare insists I drop our daughter at his mum’s every day before I leave for work on the Island.
This arrangement isn’t conducive for me but he wouldn’t back down. I suggested dropping her at a Creche, he also refused.
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My job started to suffer and it got to a point where I was laid off.
It was now as if every iota of respect my husband had for me before then flew out through the window when I lost my job.
I do not have any job yet and whenever any of the clients that used to patronize me at my former place of work calls me for home service, my husband would come up with one reason or the other why I shouldn’t go. He once followed me to the home of one of my celebrity clients and kept complaining that the woman’s younger brother was too familiar with me.
He would not let me look for another job. He would not let me go for home services. He would not let me go out with friends. Even my siblings are beginning to stay away from me because my husband would always pick unnecessary fights with me whenever they visit. He does not know how to keep family matters under wrap; he would always tell both his siblings and mine about our private matters.
Just last night, after I have put our daughter to sleep, I knelt by the bed to pray and as if he couldn’t see what I was doing, he stood over me and said, “ Woman, postpone your prayers and come attend to me!”
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Do you know what he meant? He wanted sex and he did not think he should wait for me to at least finish saying my prayers. He demands for sex like it is his birth-right and to think that he does not even last long!
Sometimes I feel like running away but I do not know if my heart can stay away from him. I love him very much even though I am dying inside. Somebody, please talk to me before I run mad!!!