Pregnancy and childbearing are beautiful gifts from God to women. The idea of birthing another human being is exceptional. Now, as beautiful as pregnancy and childbirth are, they sometimes come with complications that varies from one woman to another.
Just like we have women who go into the labour room and within a few minutes, or hours give birth, we also have women who go into the labour room, and suffer great complications; with some deforming them up to some causing their death.
Another shocking aspect of pregnancy is that no two pregnancies are the same, not even for one particular woman. You may have complications with one pregnancy and the next will be smooth or vice versa.
Some Nigerian moms who have experienced childbearing decided to share their experiences. These women took to social media to talk about some of the reasons why they are reluctant and unwilling to have another child or wish to wait for a few more years before attempting to get pregnant again.
While some men attacked these women for not wanting to have more children, calling them selfish, other men supported their decisions.
One of those who supported these women was Oluyomi Ojo, a married dad and the CEO/Co-Founder of Printivo- a digital printing company based in Lagos, Nigeria.
Ojo, who was in the labour room with his wife for more than 7hours, shared his experience to enlighten fellow men on the challenges that come with pregnancy and childbirth.
”As a father who stayed in the labour room for 7.5hrs before our son decided to come. It’s not a joke, it’s not easy and to be very honest. Men should not chook mouth in this matter. We have no right to say a word.
Three things happened to me after that experience.
1. The respect I had for my wife grew by eons and then I feared her.
2. I respected my mum. (Like how can you do this 5 times without access to today’s medical tech like epidural & co)
3. I started respecting women more.
No woman goes into labour and comes back the the same. Forget epidural and all those things. The 9 months of that pregnancy alone changes a woman’s body completely. (Let’s not mention psychological changes).
I’ve seen women lose their sight after childbirth, or stiffness in certain parts of the body because childbirth. Guys, these things are real. When women share their experiences, we have no right to gag them. If you can’t empathize, shooooosh.
If you feel woman should not talk. I think it’s either because you don’t know how deep this things is, you’ve not had a child, or you were not actually involved in the process.
Few tips to help you.
1. Google is a great friend.
2. From the day your wife tells you are going to be a father. Get these apps: Baby Centre and WhatToExpect. Client a husband account, add conception date and read the daily updates. You’d see what your wife’s body suffers. (He forget to mention follow Motherhood In-Style Magazine, but we still love him).
This in many ways will also help you empathize with your pregnant employees and colleagues. Or any pregnant woman you run into. Carrying a baby and delivering one is not beans. If you are a man, you are either on the women’s side or you should just close your mouth.
And remember… Childbirth in Nigeria is a lot more dangerous than anywhere else in the world that I know. Na by chance. Getting oxygen/blood na story. Women are being asked to push with low contractions hospitals don’t to measure. It’s not right for a women to push for hours.
This in many ways will also help you empathize with your pregnant employees and colleagues. Or any pregnant woman you run into. Carrying a baby and delivering one is not beans. If you are man, you are either on the women’s side or you should just close your mouth.
When women talk about childbirth and the issues it brings. Dear men, if we don’t have anything good to say to support and encourage them or at let them know we feel their pains (which we can’t actually feel because we are not in their bodies). Let’s just Waka pass.
Not something that I’d argue for or against. Let her and husband decide. Not for society to decide too. Certain cultures used to attach mother’s name to the child. We need to just let people enjoy their own things.
I know a man who fainted when he saw baby’s head. Fainted for real and caused another commotion in the labour room.
I’ve heard of cases of people not being able to see with one eye of months, one arm not working properly. Who else is aware that a woman’s immune system drops just so the baby can survive and not get killed by the body. Scary stuff!!!
Love it too. This is how great things happen. So I believe it’s the job of men who have seen things to help those who haven’t. We have no right to talk about anything relating to women’s body. Like no right at all.
If you are going to chook mouth, speak for women or don’t speak at all. We can’t ask women not to talk about their experiences with their body before and after childbirth. It’s not about bodies. We either speaking for them or not speak at all.
Be very involved. Because in the end, all that truly matters is family. Everything else will fade away. It’s important men talk to men about this issue.
In this future where women and men are treated equal and women are appreciated for the price they pay, the few men who gets it must come forward to lead the conversation.”
”It is always good we can learn from each other. You’re welcome my brother. I am more for equity where we celebrate our equality as human beings and strengthen each other’s weaknesses by helping with love. I pray for a better world. Let’s keep educating each other.”
