Dear MIMsters: All I Ask Is To Be Free From This Emotional Turmoil

How can I be free from this emotional turmoil?

My marriage is one year old and I have two sons. I had my first son when I was in school 11 years ago and the second one was born last year.

My husband had cheated on me on countless times even before we got married. I had tried to leave him for another relationship but he came begging and said he was a changed person.

Two weeks before our wedding, he brought a lady to our apartment. I found and said that there will be no wedding again. People began begging me that it was devil’s plan for the wedding not to hold and that I should hang on because of my son.

Now that I am in it, I have only had two to three months of happiness. He calls other women and receives their calls at anytime of the day, even right in my presence. Before, when I complain, he would tell me that he would change, but now, he beats me when I talk.

The day I answered the call of one his side chicks, that day was a very bad day for me. He was beating and telling me to die if I want to die. People and his parents inclusive have advised me to live with it and pretend like I don’t see his infidelity but is not working. How can I pretend when he loudly make calls in the other room at midnight and I can hear him clearly? Or when he goes round in the compound making calls when other neighbors are sleeping and I am dying emotionally?

I have fought with him but now I am tired. I have cried and I have prayed. I have asked people how to go about getting a divorce and they said that I will have to pay a lot of money to get one. My plan is to leave without telling anybody but I don’t have anywhere to go. I am an orphan, my siblings can’t help because they don’t work. How can I become financially dependent and raise money for my freedom?