Dear MIMsters: After 25 Years of Shame and Humiliation, These People Think They Can Just Waltz Into Our Lives
Yes, I admit we were both young. And yes, I admit we shouldn’t have been having sex but should I have been made to face the shame and humiliation, pain, etc. all alone?
I will tell my story but MIS, allow me to use pseudo names because I have seen his sisters’ comments on your page before now; they always think they know more than other people, and I am certain that after reading my story here, they will know where I truly stand.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Will I Be Fair To Call Off This Relationship? I’m No Longer In Love
*Bimbo* and I were secondary school lovers. I was in SSS 2 while he was in SSS 3. Funny how the whole school knew us as lovers back then but no one was willing to speak the truth when I suddenly became pregnant because Bimbo’s parents are powerful people in the society. Even the school authority wouldn’t believe my story that Bimbo was responsible for the pregnancy. I remember the school principal telling my parents that the boys’ hostel was far from the girls’ hostel, and that it was not possible for either gender to cross to the other person’s side.
Bimbo also vehemently denied me and the pregnancy. I was all alone! My father disowned me, my mother cried her eyes out but she couldn’t help me because my father told her to choose between me or her marriage. I was their first child and with three other children to raise, my mother chose her marriage.
I will forever be grateful to my auntie Gbemi. My dad’s immediate younger sister. She looked at me and said, “Dayo, I believe you but you have to give your parents time to come around to accept what has happened. While they are trying to do that, I will take good care of you.”
Aunty Gbemi lived in Port-Harcourt while my parents are based in Lagos so she came down to Lagos and took me with her; she bore the shame with me. She registered me for ante-natal, visits with me; she did everything possible to make me comfortable. Immediately I put to bed, she sent messages to my parents who never asked after me while I was pregnant and though they did not come, they sent their well wishes, according to auntie Gbemi.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: I Thought I Would Get Better But I’m Not
Auntie Gbemi got me a live-in nanny who helped to raise Annabel while I went back to school. I finished my secondary education, I got into a Federal University, I got a law degree, went to law school, did NYSC and got a good job. In all those years, I only heard about my parents, I did not see them. I did not see Bimbo or any of his people, too.
Auntie Gbemi was never married but she was very wealthy. She had a lot of disappointments from men so she actually lived for Annabel and me. Auntie Gbemi was my dad’s only sister; they lost their parents when they were teenagers.
Auntie Gbemi also ensured that Annabel attended the best of schools, and today, my daughter is a superstar, a well known TV personality who bears my father’s name because that was the name auntie Gbemi also bore.
I do not know how Bimbo and his family did it, they got in touch with my parents and my father had the guts to contact me after 25-years that I should come home with my daughter so that her father and his people can meet her!
As I write, I am crying… in fact, wailing not because of what they think they are doing to me, but because I lost auntie Gbemi to cancer in January, 2018. I wish she was here! Because of me, auntie Gbemi and my parents relationship got strained because my father took offense that his sister did not make me suffer.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMSters: For This Reason, I Curse The Day I Met Bisi
Annabel is aware of all that is happening, she understands the pain of standing alone during such crisis. I am married now, I do not have any other child with my awesome husband yet, Annabel is all we both have. Annabel and my darling husband also share a strong bond so the three of us are ready for my parents, and Bimbo & his people. The whole world will hear how y’all unjustly treated a 15-year old and now, you want to arm twist her because you think your warped culture gives you the right to do so.
Like I said, Bimbo’s sisters are here, so I am telling the two of you, “Op” and “Ob” (their initials), tell your people to bring it on! Damn the culture that makes people believe they can choose to be irresponsible because they are males.
Damn you all!
I stand with you to stand in what u believe in. Do not give them the child. Your daughter has a daddy now and you all are happy. I’m just angry and I dont want to say anything whilst angry.
This is serious. My dear your husband is your daughter’s father. Full stop.
The real problem has been your father.
I would have expected the denial and humiliation from Bimbo but I deeply fault your father because he punished you without any compassion. He alienated you from your mum and your siblings and also attempted to quarrel with his sister who alone showed you care and love.
Now he wants to sow because you and your daughter survived and succeeded. Sad.
Well, I would think you can see your father but know that times and people are different now.
If you and Annabel could survive without Bimbo and your dad then, you can do so now.
Hear them out but don’t allow anyone to bully you.
All the best.
Ìf I were you I would tell them Bimbo is not the father, that they were right and they should stop disturbing you. I will never meet them nor let them see my daughter.
You don’t need these people at this time of your life.