Dear MIMsters: My Husband’s Death Drove Me Into This But I Need A Way Out ASAP | Part 2

Continued from here

We became close friends and after a few weeks, he asked me out. I told him about my past, not leaving any detail out and he told me all those weren’t enough to make him less interested in dating me. He also told me he had a 6-year old son with his ex-girlfriend and that the boy was living with his mother in their village.

Nkem had been gone for 4 years and I felt it was okay for me to start seeing someone else. When we started getting serious, the first thing I did was to check our blood compatibility and God so good, he was AA.

Next was to take him home to meet my people. They welcomed him and asked him series of questions. After he left, my siblings said he was not good for me and my parents agreed with them. My children, over time, had grown fond of him and even though my people did not hate him, they just did not think he was good enough for me.

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He also took me home to meet his people and unlike Nkem’s people, Hilary’s people accepted me and they loved me and my children very much. His mother went as far as to assure me that she would help me find traditional cure for my children’s health challenges.

I convinced my people and reluctantly, unlike when they met Nkem whom they had loved unconditionally, they accepted but not without telling me that whatever I experience with Hilary will be my cross to carry.

We got married 2-years after we met, that was a year after our NYSC. All seemed rosy at first until I noticed that he wasn’t making efforts to get a job. He told me that God has called him into full time ministry and that I should not be worried about how we would survive because God is able to supply all our needs, and he would from time to time cite examples of men of God who are prosperous to me.

Hilary is a good man, a loving father, he respects me a lot, he treats me well, he treats my children well- we have 2 sons together now. He has also gone to bring his son to live with us so we have altogether, 6 children to raise and yet, while I go out to hustle in the morning, my husband will be at home praying, reading his bible and sleeping.

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After we got married, I took 70% from the money Nkem set aside for me and I started his kind of business again. I would go to my 8 to 5 job during the day, and return to the store in the evening to reconcile accounts with my sales girls. I told Hilary that even if he would not look for a job, he could at least help manage the store along with his ‘calling’ but he said he is not meant to do any secular job.

I am down to my last now. School fees for 6 children, house rent, NEPA bills, hospital bills for my children and yet, Hilary would not lift a finger to do anything.

Last week, I got to the store in the evening, and one of my sales girls told me my husband came to collect N10,000 from her. When I asked him what he used it for, he said he pledged a seed into the life of a man of God whose grace he covets and time was running out so he had to quickly take some money from the store for that purpose. I asked him when he would return it and like other times, his response was ‘soon.’

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I am losing it but I cannot let my people know what I am going through. Not only will Hilary not lift a finger, his appetite is large and he is ever busy cruising town in my car while I have to jump buses most times.

The business is also going down because typical of sales girls, there is a limit you can monitor them if you are not on ground and leaving my 8 to 5 job is like leaving certainty for uncertainty.

Hilary is a good husband and a loving father but he is a huge liability to me. How do I manage a man like this?