Dear MIMSters: How I Escaped Marrying Into A Fetish Family

The story of the woman whose MIL checks her children’s glory has brought me out of my shell. Let me share how I escape being a victim of such fetish practise by taking to my heels.

If I mention the real name of the family I am about to write on, almost every reader here will know who they are so I will just give them pseudo names. This family is a very wealthy one and none of their children, daughters-in law or sons-in law work outside the man’s empire. They are movers and shakers of the Lagos social circle.

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It was outside the country that I met Dapo, one of Chief O’s sons. It was love at first sight and we both agreed from the onset that we were altar bound.

After our studies abroad, we returned home and that was when I knew how influential and wealthy his family was. My friends said I had hit jackpot. I was full of joy. I enjoyed every Lagos party I attended with the family. Journalists swam around them every time they stepped out. On a few occasions, gossip papers and blogs showed my face with Dapo, insinuating all sorts. Believe me, I said to myself, “Girl, you have done well for yourself. Now, enter into your rest.”

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Dapo informed his parents he wanted to start marriage proceedings with me and they invited me over to their place. We chatted and then, they took me to the topmost floor of their expanse home somewhere in their home country. We went into a room, before we could access that room, we passed a few security personnel who accorded me more respect that I could have ever dreamed. I was happy but scared of the ‘hushy-hushy’ atmosphere.

We landed in the chilled room, and Dapo’s parents went into another inner room. They changed into an all white attire and returned to us. By this time, I was sweating profusely even though I was inside an air-conditioned room. A bowl of water was placed before us, and the mother said to me: “Tumininu, every one who wants to be a part of our family must go through this ritual. It doesn’t harm. I am certain you know all you stand to gain if you are married into this family. Wealth and honour will be made readily available to you.”

His dad added: “And there would be nothing you want that my wife and I would not do for you. Also, once you are married into this family, you are not allowed to divorce your spouse or speak ill of him to the outside world. When women married into my family wants out, we settle them but they cannot get married to any other man. They may have flings here and there, but no marriage. You and Dapo will now wash your hands in this water and marriage proceedings will commence immediately. Wherever and whenever you choose in the world, you will get our full support.”

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I cannot say what came over me but all I remembered was that I ran past the security and fled towards my car. I got in and drove like a mad woman through Dapo’s father’s large estate. I never looked back.

He called to threaten me that I should have opted out long before I was let into that room and I asked him if he ever told me they had ‘that room’ in his family.

Now, the way my mom brought us up was unique. She schooled us thoroughly in the word of God and made us know that riches are ephemeral but God’s grace is everlasting. Mom showed us how to work hard and how to trust God while at it. She taught us to never allow greed blindfold us. Mom taught us to be content. She taught us how to live for God alone and not for any man. I was glad I did not forget my mother’s teachings that second when the world seemed to have been placed at my feet by Dapo’s parents. Of course, I told my parents all that happened and I was taken to meet our pastor who prayed for me and gave me scriptures to stand on.

Less than a year after, Dapo got married to another Yoruba lady whom I am certain went through the ritual but all man to himself o. I read in the papers late last year that he just wedded an Hausa girl, again. Probably his Yoruba wife has been relegated to ‘flingy’ mode.

As for me, I am still single 7-years later. Probably because I am being too careful but I would rather marry late than marry into that fetish home. More so, I have peace!

My dears, not all that glitter is gold o.