Are Wedding Vows Necessary? | We Asked Nigerians What They Think
Wedding vows are promises and voiced commitments couples exchange during a wedding ceremony. They express their intent and determination to love and navigate their lives together without breaking their bond of marriage.
These moments are very emotional and beautiful to watch during weddings but more recently, people are questioning whether this part of the wedding is necessary for a number of reasons.
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Vows like we said give an insight into the resolve of a couple to make their marriage thrive and shape the foundation of the marriage, the words are usually carefully chosen and tear -jerking, but what is obvious is, the euphoria of the moment does not appear to stand the test of time.
For one, a bond like what is promised during a wedding should not lose strength over minor issues as having access to your partner’s phone or having a joint bank account even. Few months down the line, the kitchen is getting too hot for comfort and tensions are beginning to simmer, before even the guests at the wedding have wiped their misty eyes dry from all the sweet worded vows.
Recently, controversial Nigerian on-air-personality, OAP Daddy Freeze stirred a conversation in that line saying vows have no value in today’s marriages because even the littlest things as phone passwords are off limits to partners, so where is the space for the pledge of undying love?
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We asked for the opinions of a number of Nigerians, here’s what they had to say
” I personally think vows are overrated.
When you love unconditionally and have a common goal and also have the interest of each other at heart,
you both will just do what is right for your union.
Vows are mere words although some people take it seriously but in my opinion,
it should be something that you assimilate internally.“
– Banker, Mum-of-two, Bisola, Abuja.
Lagos wife and mum had this to say:
“The way that I see it, vows are very necessary.
It can guide a couple when one or both of them strays from the intents on which the marriage was built.
You can remind your spouse of their vows and promises to you.
The downside however is , when vows are not fulfilled, they turn to curses.
It is a little dicey.”
– Accountant, Mrs Alayande, Lagos
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Another twist to making wedding vows is that most people think it is a scriptural thing and that is why it is included in their wedding ceremony but like we mentioned in the beginning of the article, it really is a Western tradition that has found its way into christian marriage rites.
A Lagos-based digital communications expert corroborates the Western origin of reading wedding vows;
” I did not write or read any vows to my wife on my wedding day.
I don’t even believe in it.
It is more of a western culture, and the rate of divorces after such weddings don’t tell me that the vows have any impact.
So, yes, vows are not necessary and the bible did not state anywhere that we should make such vows”.
– Steve, Lagos.
We spoke to two other people and here’s what they had to say;
“For me, there is no need for vows.
My wife knows my intentions for our marriage and vice-versa.
Besides, it is not even biblical, so why would i want to do it?
There’s too much focus on the ceremony than the marriage itself , and that’s why marriages are failing.”
– Omoh, Edo
Businesswoman, and mum said,
“Vows won’t stop bad behaviours. If a man wants to be a cheat, that’s what he is going to do.
There may be repercussions for breaking your vows in the western world but certainly not in Nigeria, at least to a large extent.
It may still be good to take marriage vows, I can’t tell.’
– Faridah, Lagos
Mimsters, what do you make of marriage vows?