Read The Poignant Letter A Heartbroken Mom Wrote To ‘The Other Woman’ Her Husband Left Her For
An unnamed Irish mother who was left devastated by her partner’s affair has written a poignant letter to the other woman her husband left her for but ended up being criticized for blaming the other woman for ‘taking’ him away.
The woman took to Mumsnet this week after discovering her husband had been having an affair with his colleague.
Explaining that she had broken up with him after discovering messages between the woman and her husband, she revealed how the affair had left her and her 10-year-old daughter heartbroken. She said her daughter had asked her ‘why the women took daddy away?’.
However upon asking why woman dated men who were attached, she was slammed for blaming the woman instead of her husband – with other mothers arguing he was the one with the commitment.
In the letter to ‘the other woman’, the woman asked her husband’s mistress what she actually got from the relationship.
Kicking off the lively debate on the parenting forum, the woman wrote:
”I just need to understand the reasoning behind having an affair with a taken/married man? In the middle of a break up and I’ve had my 10-year-old daughter ask ‘why did the woman take daddy away?”
Such an innocent yet poignant question.. please, for anyone that has been the OW (other woman) explain what you get out of it?.”
The woman went on to discuss how her husband and the woman he had an affair with had met at work and how it had come as a shock because she thought they were happy. She adds:
”I can just about grasp couples who aren’t happy, not getting on or no sec etc [sic]. My and my dp were happy, close. He was with me almost always. We went out and drank together. Had the odd date night, holidays.
I just can’t understand what the ow gets out of it in that circumstance? It’s ego boosting for the man ok I can take that but for the woman? Knowing he’s cosying up to his partner in the evenings while your just his “sexting buddy” where’s the fun in that?!?
I’m just going off my case here. He wasn’t out shagging you or dating you, was only seeing her at work – NEVER on a weekend. How can a woman be happy with that? Just the off txting n fondle in the day but never having proper dates or nights in because he can’t ever invite you back to his.
Could any woman be happy like that? I’d rather spend my time looking for someone else. A meaningful relationship rather than be used as an ego boost. Also is it a competitive thing? Still baffled in my case as my dp was very vocal about me (in a nice way) in front of ow.”
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Slamming her husband, one woman replied:
”Another woman did not take Daddy away. Life isn’t like that. Daddy left. He left. HE left – no one ‘took’ him. Sorry, but you need to start there to get your own self esteem back.”
Another added:
”Where’s your letter to your partner? The OW is not blameless but she did not take him away. He willingly cheated and left. Your anger is misdirected.”
Agreeing, another added:
”Stop painting the OW as some b***h temptress/sl** with no standards. Many women have made mistakes and been with taken men.”
Meanwhile some mothers who had been the ‘other woman’ shared their point of view, with one writing:
”I have, while in my twenties, and going through the sh***iest time of my life, desperately trying to prove I was worth something after being raped. I am disgusted with myself for it, but you know what? If the taken men had a few standards of their own, it would have been very different all round.”
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Another admitted:
”If I’m honest, in my position, I can see the appeal (absolutely wouldn’t do it). I don’t want the day to day stuff or a relationship, but I would like some attention every now and then.
I’ve tried the FWB (friends with benefits) situation and he got feelings which I didn’t want, a guy who’s taken wouldn’t get feelings, especially one who’s pretty happy with his missus.
Once again, I absolutely wouldn’t go there, but I get why some women do. That said, it’s your ex who was the problem, nobody ‘took’ him, he made the choice.”
Another explained:
”I mean this in the nicest way but people who are happy in relationships don’t start affairs. As for the OW, there are many reasons some might go for a married man, the challenge of it, or having no strings attached or ‘saving’ their beau from their unhappy life, sometimes the heart just wants what it wants OP.”
One mother concluded:
”I would never get involved with a married man. Your DP isn’t blameless though. If it wasn’t her it probably would have been someone else.”
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