On the latest episode of Red Table Talk, Ciara sat down with the matriarchs of the Pinkett-Smith family to reveal how she turned her “scars” into “beauty marks”, and discusses her journey from pain and mistrust to her loving marriage to NFL star, Russell Wilson.
Ciara has a son with her ex-fiance, rapper Future, 5-year-old Future Zahir. In the interview, the multi-talented singer explained the emotions that led to her split with Future in 2014, and how it helped her find the peace she feels today. She acknowledged that she struggled as a single mom after she and Future had a less than amicable split.
Although the 33-year-old vocalist didn’t mention the rapper by name, she recounts the moment she realized it was time for her to leave him. She shared:
“It would be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that’s just not healthy, that’s not gonna get any better. I realized I had to start making different decisions. Period. …. Knowing what you don’t want is really important. That’s more than half [the battle].
When I was thinking about my son, I know what I want to feel. I know the kind of love that I want for us. … If you stay in situations that are not healthy, or if you let them linger too long, you start to lose yourself. I don’t like crying all the time. I don’t like being sad, so I was like, ‘How do I get out of this?’
I remember one time I was working out on the elliptical machine and I was just not sure about do I stay or what direction do I go? What’s the right thing to do? It’s easy to do this, but is the easy thing the right thing?.”
She then explained how she took their son on several trips to solidify her confidence in walking away from the situation. This decision showed the singer that she had to commit to herself instead of others.
“…And I think if you sit in situations that are unhealthy or you let them linger too long you start to lose yourself. I don’t like crying all the time. I don’t like being sad. So I’m like, ‘how do I get out of this? Because I like being happy.’”
In addition to her past relationship, Ciara also talked about meeting Russell Wilson and becoming a blended family. The cool mama of two also expressed gratitude to Wilson for accepting her for who she is and loving her the way she always wanted others to. She recalled:
“I’d have moments when I would be in the shower, I’d be crying. I had a few different settings — crying in the bedroom, crying in the shower … crying because I’m not in the happiest place and it hurts what I’m going through.”
“It was a combination of everything because none of it was ideal,” she adds when asked if it was the bad breakup or the fact that she was a single mom that devastated her.
“I grew up with my mom and dad being together, the idea of it being, ‘Mommy and Daddy made baby,’ then all of a sudden you’re living your life in front of the world. That adds a whole ‘nother layer. ‘I feel like I’m failing right now. Other people, they’re gonna roast me. Here they come in the comment section. I’m about to get fried.'”
Ciara says she used her father as a barometer for how one should be treated. She shared further:
“My dad’s love is what saved me in all of my situations. Because it would get to a point where I would say, ‘My dad wouldn’t do this to my mom.’ This just can’t be love. I’ve always had the same goal of wanting to be loved in a certain way, but I was just walking in the wrong direction. I was looking in the wrong direction.”
Ciara says she met 30-year-old Russell when Future Jr. was 10 months old, and that he actually met her family when they were still just friends. She shares with a big smile about her immediate bond with the pro athlete:
“It was different. I had never had that feeling in my life. It was just, like, calm. We were connecting in every way. … His conversation, it was just different. The way that he looked at life was different. Also, the energy with my son, it just felt right. And of course, the consistency. He’s consistent. That consistency is so crucial.
He was like this, open arms. And he was like, ‘I got you.’ Just the detail. Whenever he would think about me, he would think about my son. And to love me is to love my son. We come together. It’s dope. It’s a different level of love.”
At one point, host Jada Pinkett Smith tears up when bringing up Russell’s recent touching Instagram post to Future Jr. on his fifth birthday, noting that she knows from experience how hard it is to be a stepparent and to know your boundaries while still being a parental figure.
Jada’s first episode of Red Table Talk revolved around her not-always-great relationship with the ex-wife of her husband, Will Smith, and being a stepmom to his 26-year-old son, Trey. Ciara acknowledges:
“It has been a very special journey for my husband and I because we are a blended family. It does take time.”
Later, the singer is asked if she wants more kids with Russell. Aside from Future Jr., the two are also parents to their 2-year-old daughter, Sienna. She joked:
“If you would ask Russell, we have, like, five more kids to make. I do look forward to having another baby. I would hope that I could have at least two more. I love kids. I love being a mom.”
