10 Golden Rules For Mums Raising Sons

Let’s face it, raising a boy is a little different from raising a girl. Most times, mums know exactly how to parent their girl child, but find out they need a little more than just the authority of being the mum to raise a loving, loved and balanced son.

Find 10 awesome tips that will serve you if you are a mum of boys.

1. Accept That Boys Are Wired Differently

They look at and experience things from their own, unique male perspective. Don’t expect they will have the same reactions you do. And don’t be disappointed when they don’t. And, for pity’s sake, allow them to express their emotions openly.

2. Talk About Sex

Aby believes that you should talk to your son about sex when they are much younger. According to the bestselling author, your boy’s first vivid introduction to sex is likely porn, and you should take time to educate him on consent, rape, moderation, as well as the difference between fantasy and reality

“Don’t blame or shame. Porn will likely be their first entree to sex — and from a younger age than you’d like. Much younger.

So, talk to them about fantasy versus reality. Talk to them about moderation.

Talk to them about romantic love and mutual consent. Talk to them about rape. Repeat.”

3. Be Firm

Aby says she frowns upon rudeness and self-absorption and does not allow her boys to carry own without being emotionally aware of their environment or others.

“If I’m entering a building with my sons and they go in ahead of me, I wait outside until they realize I haven’t joined them. (Sometimes this takes longer than I’d like.)

One will inevitably come back and hold the door for me. I don’t expect them to do that because I’m a woman,

I do that because I expect them to move through life thoughtfully and with a keen awareness of others.”

4. Keep Introducing God and Spirituality

The line between good and bad, what’s right and what’s wrong is thinning out daily. It is even more critical at this point that you guide your son towards the light of God, and teach him about spirituality and the sustenance that it provides. In Aby’s words:

“… I want them to know the value and sustenance a spiritual practice provides.”

5. Welcome Their Girlfriends With Caution

Part of the author’s golden rules for raising boys is to welcome their girlfriends once they start having them. She warns to be cautious, however. If you do not approve of their choices, you should figure out a respectful way to let them know.

A mom of grown sons once warned me, “Don’t fall in love with their girlfriends. Those early relationships never last.”

Turns out, she was right. Embrace the lovely people they bring home, but know you may get your heart broken.

Let your sons know you approve of their choices. If you don’t, figure out a respectful way to tell them why.

6. Encourage Your Son To Show Emotions

So much has been taught to boys or men about being strong, that it often turns to an inability to effectively channel their emotions because they are trying to “man-up” or “be a man about it”. That is not in the interest of your son, yours or the relationships they will form as they go along to becoming men.

” Let your sons see you laugh, cry, rage, weep, grieve, rejoice. Holding back does nothing to educate — or prepare — your sons for the beautiful range of emotions women are gifted with expressing.”

7. Inculcate In Your Son A Sense of Duty

A keen sense of duty is part of what it means to be a man. Teach your child to step in when he can to end a bad situation, without physical altercation. Teach him to be part of the solution.

8. Courtesy

Aby says males typically have the “intimidation factor” and encourages mums to teach their sons to be aware of it. She makes a rather interesting point on this.

“Here’s what I tell my sons: If you’re ever on a dark street or in a parking garage at night, be mindful that your mere presence may feel threatening to a woman walking alone.

If you’re rushing up behind a woman, casually assure her of her safety. Say, “Don’t mean to alarm you, I’m just in a hurry…”

Or, better yet, “If you’d like, I’d be happy to walk with you until you get to a safer area.”

9. Love Them Unconditionally

The least any parent could do for their child is love them unconditionally. Always. Because they need you to do that, even when it’s not obvious or they don’t seem to notice. A man who experiences unconditional love from his mom has a better chance at healthier adult relationships. Don’t hold back. Give them your heart and, in turn, you will have theirs.”

10. Be Kind

Having a big heart is something that will show your son the beauty of being affectionate, considerate and handle relationships with emotional intelligence.