Dear MIMsters: This Is Not What I Bargained For In This Marriage

I am in tears as I write and desperately in need of advice. This is not what I bargained for in this marriage.

I got married in May this year, 2019. My marriage has been beautiful until I started experiencing some pains around my waist and abdomen. I told my hubby and he told me to go to the hospital. At the hospital, the doctors suggested I do a scan, an x_ray and a swab test. The scan and the x ray results showed all is well with me but the swab test result showed I had an infection which needs treatment.

The doctors advised my hubby to treat the infection with me because if he doesn’t, there is 100% chance that it will return. At home, hubby got very angry and started throwing all sorts of words at me. He said that I am always treating infection and all his savings has been channeled into my health issues. He said as for him, nothing is wrong with him because he is okay. He said that I should go and take care of myself and leave him out of my infection issues.

When we were dating, I had infections and I would go for treatment but he won’t. So whenever we had sex, I got reinfected. It is his fault but he never takes responsibility. Now, we are married and it has started again. I want to get pregnant and become a mother because my biological clock is ticking. I want to treat myself and get pregnant so we can start a family fully, but obviously, he isn’t ready for that.

If I tell him about us having children or me getting pregnant, he tells me that I am disturbing him, that when did we get married here, so children isn’t our priority now. I told him today that when I’m done treating myself, I will make sure he doesn’t touch or come close to me. He replied by saying, “what rubbish, as if women are finished outside?”

I was so shocked by his words. I sincerely didn’t expect that. I expected us to sit as a family and plan on how we are going to see the doctor for proper treatment but what I got is an overdose of insults. The doctors also said that they noticed that I have 1.1cm of fibroid, so I need to get pregnant as soon as possible to dissolve the fibroid before it gets bigger but my hubby isn’t ready to help me. Rather, what he is doing is insult me like a little child and does not not mind if his words are hurtful.

This isn’t what I bargained for in this marriage. I need help.