DEAR MIMsters: I Can’t Believe My Parents-In-Law Made Me Do This!
I am currently putting up with my parents-in-law because I will be due anytime soon.
I went for ANC 2 weeks ago and my checkup revealed everything. My mom-in-law and dad-in-law decided to take me to see a herbalist without hubby’s consent. I called and told him and he said it was OK.
My dear Mimsters, we got to the place and met a long queue, so we had to wait for our turn. When it was my turn, this herbalist, a man, and my father-in-law exchanged pleasantries. I didn’t understand a word of their conversation since I am from a different tribe.
The herbalist then ushered me into one room and asked me to lift my dress to my chest exposing my belly which I did. This man started talking into the air. Only God knows what he was saying and who he was talking to.
After that, he came and bent over and started examining my belly. He pushed my belly from one side to the other, licking my belly button, spitting air on to my lower abdomen, and pressing my abdomen. I thought I had seen it all until he asked me to open my legs and before I knew, this man had inserted his filthy finger into my vagina and he started fingering me while pushing my belly from left to right.
He finished and I dressed up and let, still feeling confused because I didn’t understand what went on.
I entered a bathroom in the house to urinate only to see blood, I didn’t utter a word till we got home.
I went to shower and saw blood again.
I called hubby and informed him, now he’s so pissed saying he’s going to get the man arrested.
Now my fears are:
1- what if I have contracted an infection?
2- what if he has harmed my baby?
I feel so dirty, angry and devastated as I type, I feel pains in my abdomen when I lift my right leg. If I complain, my mother-in-law will say that I am ungrateful. What should I do now?
There is nothing you can do because you never stopped the herbalist from touching you inappropriately. You gave your full consent and you are an adult.
I wonder why your in-laws are living with you. If you don’t send them away, I pray worse things will not happen to you.
For example, I knew my mother-in-law was fetish and because of her closeness with my husband I never used to tell my husband anything about my pregnancy, even my EDD. I used to take all of them by surprise and that was how I survived.
You need to be stern on what you accept, It’s your life and body. You don’t even need to get permission from your husband about seeing a herbalist. You should be able to stand up and tell your in-laws what is against your principles. Marriage doesn’t mean you should not have a mind of your own. You have a right to keep any information about your pregnancy to yourself. Please stop telling them about your pregnancy.