Dear MIMsters: Must I Always Show-Off These Things To My In-Laws?
I am married to one of the very few good men (he has his flaws though) and to the glory of God, we’re doing good. However, I need your candid opinion on an issue. Must I always show-off these things to my in-laws?
Recently, hubby was to carry out a project that’ll yield an income and was in need of just a little token (below 100k) to execute and have it delivered within 24 hours. At that time, I was short of cash and we kept deliberating on where and how to get cash without divulging what we wanted to do to a third party. And so I brought up the idea of talking to MIL to kindly raise us. After all, we’ve never had to ask her for anything before.
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Hubby excused himself to make the call and immediately he returned, his countenance changed. I knew something was wrong. I tried to inquire but he wouldn’t talk. A few minutes later, I got a call from MIL and she goes; are you aware of what your husband wants to do? I said, Yes.
She went further; your orientation is so bad, if it were your younger siblings (she mentioned their names one after the other) that needed cash, wouldn’t you have sourced it anyhow? I just stood mute apologized and ended the call.
Hubby realized what had happened, apologized, and tried to make me forget about it. But then, it got me thinking of some events in the past.
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A few years back, hubby and I had a misunderstanding and it involved his family (my fault though). And while discussing, his Aunt goes; “My daughter went into thrift contribution of 200k so as to clear her hubby’s debt, can you do that for your husband?” I wondered why she felt it’s necessary we know even though it wasn’t related to the issue at hand.
In my mind, I was like; Yeh! 200k or 200 million? Even while dating (we dated over 5years), I had raised him with well over 500k not to talk of in marriage and I never mentioned it to my shadow.
Hubby also isn’t the chitty-chat kind of person so I understand he might not have made any of those times known to any of them. Also, a few weeks back, we were with MIL and she was telling us how hubby’s younger brother’s wife usually goes shopping to buy fabrics and clothes for her husband. I didn’t really read meaning to it.
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Like, yes I also do so and more too but I don’t announce it. All this just got me thinking, God forbid something happens, that’s how these people will carry the notion of: “She was never a supportive wife”.
Like I said earlier, my husband’s a good man, I earn more than him and we support each other as much as we can. But then, must I show off each time I do? Am I missing out on something? Is that the new norm?
You shouldn’t have kept mute and I also expect your husband to explain to his family that you have been supportive even more than the people they have mentioned .
You need to tell your husband to correct this notion they have of you immediately. Tell him that if they ever say anything about you not been supportive that you will have to explain to them everything you do to support him.