Dear MIMsters: Even Though I Have Made A Huge Marital Mistake, I Will Not Give Up On True Love

Marriage is a beautiful thing when you are with the right person. I love reading a beautiful love story because it is a consolation to people like me who fell into the wrong hands. I will not give up on true love. I guess it is time to share my own story.

Before getting married, I had always had this thought at the back of my mind that my marriage MUST work and I will do all within my power to make it work (with God by my side).

I am the type who reads a lot and I always love those stories with a happy ending.

My husband (sperm donor) and I are both teachers. He is a supervisor in a secondary school in the east (I would have mentioned the name of the school but I won’t out of pity). My hubby earns about 60k+ (I don’t even know the actual amount). Can you imagine? He lives in the East while I live in the north.

After we got marrried, we decided to save up and rent a one-bedroom apartment. The plan was for him to relocate since we know full well that he has a better opportunity in the north. I felt I was working with my soul mate, not knowing I was on my own. I saw an apartment and I told him about it, I was hoping he will support me but he turned around and started complaining about how he was owing this person and that person after the wedding.

Actually, I didn’t know he was dogging responsibilities. During the wedding, we shared the financial responsibilities 50/50, but do you know that at the end of the day, I contributed 70%. I am this type of person who will always bring out my last card just to make things work. This is my nature, please, don’t judge me).

My siblings call me “nwayi Obioma,” (good heart), so you can imagine. My husband saw this and took advantage of it. I then took in and as a first-time mum, I needed to buy so many things. Do you know he didn’t contribute a penny? I registered at antenatal, all at my own expense. At a time, I told him to pay for the delivery fee so that this baby can at least be called his own too. He couldn’t do it. Did I complain? No, because I didn’t want my marriage to crash.

Rent expired and it needed to be renewed. He didn’t bring any dime to pay. So I walked down to the nearest shop and bought SENSE. Did I tell you that he will borrow money from me and never payback? “Ije Di”.

Sometimes, we women are not the problems in our marriages but the untrained men we are married to.

Let me shock you all. After our wedding, my hubby fought with his younger sister (who does that?) and when his mum came to separate the fight, they pushed her away and she fell down, later, she died. Now, you can get a good picture of the kind of person I am married to.

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Let me tell you a little about my obioma work. When my husband lost his phone, I bought a new one for him (36k). I always paid for his transport fare to come visit me. I placed his mother on a monthly allowance. Someone may ask, didn’t you see this before marrying him? NO dear. He was an extraordinary pretender who tells extraordinary lies.

To every single lady out there, please make sure you are making your own money (nke di very important) before getting married. Sometimes I wonder what would have become of me if I am not working. I am now ready to speak up and stop my “so-called good wife charity work”. When the lockdown ends, I will be taking the next step (don’t forget I have bought sense).

Secondly, your happiness as a woman should not be tied to anyone. From the tone of my write-up, you can detect that I am a very happy person. I know that there are homes that are clothed and painted in love. I pray that God gives me such a home as I keep on asking God to forgive me for making the wrong choice. I pray that one day, I will also find true love.