Life Lessons: Consultant & Mom, Oluwayemisi Mafe Shares Candid Details About Experiencing Marital Abuse That Started On Her Wedding Day
A victim of spousal abuse, Oluwayemisi Mafe has shared candid details about how her wedding day turned out to be a sad one for her as it heralded years of abuse that left her feeling so alone and led to her mother’s death.
Speaking on Life Lessons with Betty Irabor, Yemisi, a mom-of-one said she married her husband after two years of courtship, so she thought she knew him well. However, she realized on her wedding day that she was wrong when he displayed his real self to her.
Sharing further, the marketing communications consultant revealed that shortly after they got married, the physical abuse started. She explained that only weeks into their marriage, her husband battered her for the first time and it later became a habit.
Yemisi said he would beat her, apologize, give her gifts, only to ask for the gifts later when he’s angry, then destroy them in her presence.
She reported the abuse to her mother-in-law but, rather than caution her son, the mother-in-law encouraged him to keep beating her all over her body but to avoid her face.
Yemisi said her ex-husband’s entire family also put her through hell. She narrated how his nephew once stripped her naked during a family meeting and her husband and his people did nothing about it.
She said she was too ashamed to tell her family because she blamed herself for making the wrong choice. She eventually opened up to her mother. Sadly, this led to the death of her mom who died of a heart attack. To avoid losing her father, she kept her sufferings to herself.
When she decided to leave, she said she was so alone. Since her family were not aware of her marital woes, they didn’t understand so they told her that there are no divorcees in their family.
As a Christian, she said the bible verse about God hating divorce kept her back, until a mentor spoke to her. The mentor told her:
“God hates divorce but he doesn’t hate divorcees. He loves you as much as he loves that husband of yours and you need to leave for the sake of your daughter.”
She also spoke about her daughter and how the abuse affected her. Advising women in abusive marriages, Yemisi said: “Speak out, document it.”
She said she didn’t document her abuse but the Office of Domestic Violence documented it when they came to rescue her on her final night with her husband and that’s what was presented to the court as evidence.
She added that she was married for nearly 14 years and has been separated for three years and she finally feels lighter and happier.
Watch the interview below…