Activist Mum-of-2, Aisha Yesufu Share Secrets To Her Happy Marriage Of 22 years Despite Her Strong Personality
Known as one to never bite her tongue or cower into submission when she has her convictions, Nigerian activist and mum, Aisha Yesufu has had to clear the air many times, as a lot of people wonder how she is still married despite her seeming feisty persona.
None of those questions is new to the very opinionated mother-of-two who has shared at other times that she was told as a young girl that she would have a hard time finding a husband or having a lasting marriage because of her boldness and smart mouth.
The concerns for the activist are quite relatable since Nigeria is a chronically patriarchal society where women like Aisha are deemed a threat to the male ego, and therefore, may not be submissive in marriage.
In all of these, Aisha has maintained that she has a thriving and happy marriage, sharing the things she and her husband do differently, and that helps them wax stronger.
During a Twitter discussion yesterday, Aisha shared more on her fulfilling marital life.
It started with YouTuber Sisi Yemmie asking why women are always expected to be polite, humble, and not too confident. she has
She tweeted:
“I don’t know why there’s so much pressure on women to be more polite, stay humble, be confident but not too much. Society stays trying to police the way women communicate, dress, sit, — basically, exist.”
Aisha Yesufu responded to Sisi Yemmie’s tweet, writing:
“As a teenager I watched as all the women who were called good wives were the ones that were abused and endured all sorts of crap and I made up my mind never to be one given the label of good!
Reason I don’t do label.
“The freedom that comes from not needing that validation is.”
As a teenager I watched as all the women who were called good wives were the ones that were abused and endured all sorts of crap and I made up my mind never to be one given the label of good! Reason I don't do label.
The freedom that comes from not needing that validation is ? https://t.co/JVz4n6NyPg— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) October 31, 2020
A man then asked Aisha how she handles her home.
He wrote:
“Hello, this is a neutral question without hidden intent. How do you handle your home? Would you say your husband is the one who doesn’t “call for the unnecessary push to be a kind of way” hence your love for him?”
And Aisha Yesufu, who has been married for 22 years, responded:
“I married a man not a little boy playing at being a man. My husband is the most practising feminist that I know.
We have the same values and that makes things extremely easy.
We have mutual respect for each other. He doesn’t see me as handler of the house, he sees us as handlers.”
My husband constantly asks how can he make things easy for me and I also do the same for him. Instead of assigned roles we do that which is our strength. I don’t know how the cooking gas in my house gets replaced. He didn’t know when the kids(now young adults) wrote their exams
To be frank, I am an ajebo wife. Everything is done for me. My husband has always made life easy for me.
As a young couple with only our son who had just started nursery school (2001) my husband in the morning got our son ready for school, made his breakfast and take him to school while I pick him in the afternoon when school closed. I am not a morning person. My husband is.
Myself and my husband have lived our marital life not based on what roles society defined for our respective genders but what each of us had the strength to do. We have been able to complement each other. That is what has worked for us!
Before we got married my husband told me I had to be financially independent. He believes a woman must have total control of her life.
In 2014 someone asked him why he allowed me do BBOG, he asked the person if his daughter was amongst those abducted would he not want me to speak for him? The man was silent.
I married a man not a little boy playing at being a man. My husband is the most practising feminist that I know. We have the same values and that makes things extremely easy. We have mutual respect for each other. He doesn't see me as handler of the house, he sees us as handlers https://t.co/zDJULRFFPO
— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) October 31, 2020