Dear MIMsters: After Doing The Unthinkable, This Guy Tells Me That He Is My Soulmate

After doing the unthinkable, this guy comes back to me and tells me that he is my soulmate.

I have been following this page for some years, and I must say I’ve really learned a lot.

I was in this relationship for more than 4 years, everything was going well until in 2018 when he met another woman who is from his tribe. He’s Idoma and I am Yoruba.

He told me that they were good friends, but my instincts were saying otherwise. After a while, he said he was tired of being in a relationship generally, that he needs space. Later, he came back saying that we should be friends with benefits and he doesn’t want commitment. I told him it’s better we both go our separate ways because I am not cool with what he’s asking for.

He apologized and said that he wanted the relationship back, and we got back together.

Fast forward to October last year, we were having a conversation when he told me that we could still be dating, but I should keep my options open, that the fact that we dated for more than 4 years doesn’t mean we’ll end up together, and if I meet anyone who’s serious, I’m free to move on.

On that day, I cried my eyes out, but I still couldn’t leave because I was hoping he’ll change his mind. I gave him a little space and were stopped talking and seeing each other as we used to.

In February this year, he came again, begging that he wants me back, that he can’t imagine his life without me. And he made a promise that there will be no going back. I gave him another chance because I still loved him.

Three months later, he started acting up again and I asked what the problem was. He said he was confused. I told him I’ll just leave him with his confusion, that’s he’s stressing me emotionally, and if after 4 years he’s still confused, then there’s no point for us to be together.

He came up with tribal issues saying his parents didn’t want him to marry an outsider. This is a relationship his people knew about. He had even told me that his mom told him that anytime she is praying for his marital life, she usually sees me as his wife. This got me a little confused as his actions were contradicting all that he told me, and from the onset, I asked him if his parents had issues with my tribe. He kept insisting that they don’t.

About 2 to 3 weeks after this conversation, I opened my Instagram one morning only to see his wedding pictures with that same woman he told me they were just friends. I was really broken, I cried like I was going to die.

Immediately after I saw the pictures, I called him and told him so he got married and he ended the call. I called back but he didn’t pick. He later sent a text begging, that he didn’t know how to tell me about his wedding.

That very week, the excuse he gave was that he hasn’t been feeling well and he hasn’t been able to go to work. Meanwhile, he traveled for his wedding, and even on the wedding day, we chatted in which he asked me when we were going to see each other.

Afterward, I fell seriously sick and lost a lot of weight such that people started asking me what happened to me, if I was taking anything to lose weight, I was advised to stop it.

With prayers and encouragement from my mom and siblings, I was able to get over him and everything faster than I thought. I still hurt a little though, whenever I remember it.

Right now, he’s back again, begging. Telling me that he still loves me, that his wedding was just an event, and nothing has changed the way he feels about me. He is saying we are soulmates, that no one can take me away from him, that I should please not date anyone, and we should just keep seeing each other.

This is barely 2 months after his wedding to the other woman. Please, I need advice on how to handle him and everything.