Dear MIMsters: What Is The Best Action To Take Against My Adopted Brother?

As I type this now, my family is in a confused state, and I am crying. I would like suggestions on the best action to take against my adopted brother.

I have a younger brother who has decided to kill my parents, I and my older brother. This brother is adopted, and is 18 years old right now. I can’t really tell the history of how he was adopted but I know he was brought into our house when I was about 7 years old.

I have watched my parents nurture this boy, sent him to the best primary and secondary ( boarding and day) schools. He stopped going to school at secondary level because he wanted to start doing a business.

In 2019, my mother registered him at a WAEC special center of his choice but till today, he still has not brought his results for anyone to see.

Throughout his secondary school years, apart from when he was in JSS 1, he never brought home any results. My parents have fought and struggled for this boy, yet he remains a thorn in our flesh.

When he is supported by my parents to do a business, he comes up with many excuses for failing. Like money isn’t enough, he was robbed or the government chased them out of their location and he lost goods while running. Yet, my parents still supported him financially again and again.

Yet, he continues to say that my parents have never done any good thing for him and is always threatening my parents and the rest of our family.

My husband abandoned me and my daughter at my parent’s house 2 years ago. This boy uses this to insult me.

One day, we had an issue and he started destroying my properties, and I tried to stop him, he started beating me up while I carried my daughter. We fought until I called my parents. My dad came back and he started threatening to kill my dad for supporting me.

My 2-year-old daughter was crying and was begging him to stop beating me. My greatest pain is that this image is registered in her memory. What can I do to help my daughter get over this experience? I have been trying my best possible to avoid my daughter growing with any image of abuse. Her seeing this abuse really hurts me.

WE are tired of this boy. Whenever anyone tries to advise or have a conversation with him, he starts to insult that person and moves on to destroying properties.

Last year, after everyone left home, he seized my father’s phone and took all the money he had from him forcefully, broke all the windows, chairs and other properties. When my cousin who is well-to-do came to our house to resolve the issue, he insulted him. That same day, he took money from my dad which he said he would return, but till today he has not.

He is now saying he doesn’t have any money and that they can come and arrest him if they want to. We have told him to leave, yet, he still comes back. Since this year, he has refused to go for his business. He is always staying at home.

My father took him to the village last week and showed him a piece of land that was apportioned to him (my brother). Told him that it will be sold so that he can travel outside the country. He gave him options of the countries that he can afford but he said he does not want to go to any of them. The country he likes, we cannot afford. He says he will rather stay in Nigeria and do JASS for Yahoo plus. We have told him to leave us and go ahead but he keeps coming and demanding we must give him money before he leaves.

I can’t even start recounting his ordeal with my mother and my other brother (1st son), the kind of hatred he exudes towards them is really disheartening. He calls my mum and I a witch.

My father met with a counselor last year who advised him to give him money for peace to reign and not to call the police. She said calling the police will only worsen his case as Nigeria cannot handle people like him and to avoid that he kills any member of our family. He is always threatening to kill if we arrest him.

He has said that he will lock all of us, kill us or burn down the house.

I need advice on how we can get rid of him so he cannot come back and cause issues. He has been a huge disgrace to my family in the whole street due to his frequent shouts of threats and insults.

I have more to say but I believe I’ve given you a clear picture of what we have been passing through with this boy and all the sacrifices my family has made for him. My parents have never openly told us or anyone else that he is adopted. I saw the proof on paper. I believe he must have heard it from outside as he is always saying it. My mother indirectly said something like that last week.

My parents are in their 60s and this is really deteriorating their health. They are dying slowly. I don’t want to lose my parents to this boy cos I might do something bad to him.

My parents have been trying to be lenient with him for a long time but it’s time to take action.