Nigerian Women Highlight Discrepancies Between How Both Genders Are Treated When Visiting Their Prospective In-laws For The First Time
Social media users are sharing their opinions on the expectations people have for women visiting their prospective in-laws, especially on the first visits.
This comes after clergywoman, Funke Adejumo advised single women on how to behave when visiting their in-laws for the first time.
According to the preacher, she asked them to kneel when greeting and remain kneeling until they are told to stand. She also advised them to avert their gaze and avoid looking their in-laws in the eyes.
When looking around at the house, she said they should move their eyes, not their necks, and when asked questions, they should give short answers.
After eating, she said the woman should take her plate to the kitchen and wash.
This has led to a debate as people question why women are expected to audition and serve when visiting their in-laws but men are doted on and served by their in-laws when they visit.
An X user has now shared her own experience, writing:
“It’s actually irritating. I remember when my ex visited me at my Uncle’s place, I was so pissed at how they were all doting on him. When my brother brought his girlfriend to the same house, they told her to come and fry puff puff for a family function.”
She added:
“In the evening after the entire family had eaten, they told her to wash plates. I had to ask them to leave her alone and did the dishes myself. What rubbish.”
@EnnyOla:
Very rigged against the women and just to highlight the discrepancies in Pastor Funke’s sermon on ladies meeting in-laws for the first time which sounded more traditional and cultural than religious, if Dangote’s child or Otedola’s daughter were to be introduced to in-laws would that daughter of this rich man or daughter of a sitting Nigerian president be expected to wash plates or fry puff-puff on the first meeting or introduction to would be in-law? If this is not an expectation for this class of people then that advice is discriminatory and faulty. That advice was for the daughter of a regular man not for the daughter of an influential rich family.
I would not expect my son’s fiancé to act all perfect and too humble, for me that’s a red flag. I will not even let her kneel to greet me and my husband, we are not on the same level as God.
As a rule, we do not allow guests remove their plates why would I treat someone who is going to be my son’s better half less? That’s someone who is going to become my daughter, why treat her different especially on a first visit?
As an in-law hosting your son’s fiancé, you set the tone. You can sit and make that lady as uncomfortable as you wish or make her as relaxed as possible by engaging her in a pleasant conversation.
As for me, be yourself, you are my guest, moderation is what is required. I do not expect any man and his family to subject my daughters to same and neither will I expect any in-law to make my daughters uncomfortable on first visit and as stated earlier, my daughters understand what respect is and how to conduct themselves at meetings – moderation; do not disrespect and do not over-do.
@BigBoss:
This is the cultural problem with marriages. They make the man believe he is doing a woman a favour. These days, a high percentage of women are made to split finances, are bread winners if their homes, are leading academically,financially, career wise.
The men who have nothing to offer unfortunately are the ones who make the loudest noise all over the place, it is their birth right,they believe! The culture needs to evolve to reflect the reality. The empty barrels on here can now have the floor….