English Comedian, John Bishop Shares The Awful Joke That Saved His Marriage After 18-month Split
English comedian and actor, John Bishop has opened up about the joke that saved his marriage to his wife, Melanie Bishop.
The entertainer recalled how he and Melanie were in the process of divorce, when a joke he made on stage about missing her got them back together after an 18-month split.
John, 57, first got on stage in Manchester’s Frog and Bucket at the age of 33 to cheer himself up after splitting from Melanie. He agreed to get on stage and try to make the audience laugh in order to avoid paying the £4 entry fee.
This chance comedy encounter would turn into a regular slot at the club, and then a career as one of the UK’s best-loved comedians, as he quits his job to do comedy full-time at the age of 40
But it was in those early days that a joke about missing his wife actually halted the divorce process and got them back together.
John revealed to The Mirror:
“I used to do a joke about missing my ex so much that I kept her severed head in the fridge.
“It’s not the best joke, and as I said it I realised the head that was meant to be in the fridge was in the audience.
“We were at the decree nisi stage in our divorce at this point, so we only had to finalise the finances.
“I remember thinking, ‘That joke’s going to cost me another £20,000.’ Afterwards she came over to the bar. I was expecting a row but instead we started chatting.”
Interestingly, the chat ended in the couple agreeing to get counselling, and they got back together after 18 months apart, going on to have three sons; Joe, Luke and Daniel.
In a previous interview with Mirror Uk, John shared about their separation:
“There was no huge fight or revelation about someone else. We just grew apart. Maybe it had something to do with having three kids so quickly. For six years there was always someone in the house in nappies. Our marriage just faded.
“You realise that the person you wanted to spend your life with no longer wants to be with you, or you with them. Suddenly it felt like walking round the house with drawing pins in your shoes.”
He reveals that Melanie had grown so cold towards him that one night he shaved off all his hair to see if she noticed. He continues:
“I looked terrible. A cross between a right-wing thug and someone people run marathons for.”
If she noticed, she didn’t let on. But it was a civilised split. They put their Manchester house up for sale, divided the proceeds and got separate places near to each other for the sake of their boys – Daniel then aged one, Luke, three, and Joe, five.
There was one heartbreaking morning when he thought he’d lost her for ever. Melanie had dropped off the boys, and they were all chatting in the hall when one of them asked their mum if she’d come to the park with them. Melanie mumbled in an embarrassed way about being busy.
When she left, it hit John that their marriage was over for good and the only woman he had ever wanted would one day meet another man who would play a pivotal role in their sons’ lives. He says:
“The realisation cut me in half. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I tried to get wellies on the lads.
“No man wants to cry in front of his sons but it’s even worse when you don’t know why you’re doing it.’”
After dropping off the kids on Mondays he would work from home, which became an excuse to sink a bottle of wine and watch daytime TV.
“I was drowning out the pain of the only person I really loved not wanting me any more,” he says.
But their flame was eventually reignited – in the strangest of ways. Melanie visited the Frog and Bucket 18 months after their split to discover her estranged husband was not only one of the acts – he was telling jokes about killing her and keeping her head in the fridge because “I knew I’d miss her”.
The couple eventually got back together after visits to Relate which John quips “is like dogging – more couples are doing it than care to admit”.
Still married over 30 years later, John still mentions Melanie in his stand-up comedy sets – and it was her who convinced the TV comedian not to quit comedy two years ago.