Nigerian Mum Who Have Been Married For 20 Years Writes To Single Women As She Shares How She Didn’t Lower Standard Just To Be Accepted By Her In-laws

A Nigerian woman, Blessing McColumbus, who has been married for over 20 years has revealed that she stayed true to herself and didn’t lower her standards just so she would be accepted by her husband and his family.

The UK-based nurse and mother of two, who disclosed this in a Facebook post going viral, said she got married as a rebel and made it clear to everyone that she won’t tolerate nonsense from them so their son would marry her.

According to Blessing, when she met her husband, she didn’t clean his house, wash his clothes and neither did she visit her in-law to form “Jackie Chan as their labourer and super woman”.

She noted that she didn’t get married as a desperate woman that was seeing marriage as her final destination.

She said when she and her hubby were courting, she spelt it all out before him that she will not last if he turns out to be anything close like her father and men like him.

SEE ALSO: Nigerian Mum Tips Other Married Women As She Recounts How Her In-laws Treated Her The Day She Walked Out Of Her Marriage

She shared:

“I did not get married as a desperate woman that didn’t have alternatives. I even left my rent, running for a long time before I stopped it. I was still ready to rent another, if any push, turns to any forking shove.

I am repeating myself again. I didn’t get married as a woman that was seeing marriage as her final destination, as a woman that cannot do without marriage.

I got married with a lot of attitudes. Oh, the attitudes that are not aligning with being a wife material at all.

I actually got married as a potential rebel. With lots of dialogues about our future together. Laying it all out before him, that I will not last if he turns out to be anything close like my father and men like him.

That wedding me with a certificate and a ring, will not stop me from divorcing him tomorrow. That I am not available for any abuse or disrespect. I had enough, growing up with my bedevilled relatives.

I did not go cleaning his house and washing his clothes to be accepted.

I did not enter market with my money to buy groceries for him, as ezigbo mmadu.

I did not accept that I can be conditioned before I marry him.

I found him, he loved me, we courted and got married as matured adults that has so much respect, trust, understanding, and love for one another.

I did not visit my In-law them to form…Jackie Chan as their labourer, super woman, that can do everything while others relax with their legs elevated on stools and tables.

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I did not lick the asses of my in-law them. I did not lower my standard to be their foot mats, just to be accepted.

Rather, I arrived before my in-law them, on a coloured hairstyle, free-girl top, and a short. My personality was intimidating enough. I came prepared, not to be looked down on.

I made my status known to be a bitch, that will not take any shíț from anyone, because I came to marry. That I will love and respect anyone that loves and respects me, and will not be available for any form of shallowness or belittling.

I raised my bar so high and left it hanging high there, until date.

Aka nwanyi o bula wetelu, ka her husband, and her in-law them, ji eso ya.

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If you like, as you find the man you want to spend (the rest of your life) with, become foot-mat, dry cleaner, charity organisation, cook, gate woman, and me-ruwa for him and his family.

They will help you lower your already low bar, to the lowest, then crush you on top to vacate the marriage with thirty children, later.

Then you end up being a struggling and dying single mother.

I am tired of most of you women. E deh too much for una body. Una too like to deh rubbish unaselves, just to answer Mrs.

Let me repeat myself again…. Na the way you take keep yourself, be the way your husband and his people go take respect or disrespect you.

This year is our two decades and half, together as husband and wife. Loving and respecting each other more than before.

Slàvïng for a man and his people, does not make you a better woman. It makes you a proper slàvè.

That’s why even those that are beneath you, on a normal level, ride the hèll out of you, as per in-law them.”