Dear MIMsters: Pregnant and Planning a Wedding but this News has my Whole World Crumbling Down
While in my first year in school, I had a boyfriend who was in his final year. We were really in love and after his graduation, he traveled out of the country but we were still in communication.
3 years later, he came back and we were still in love like we used to be. He stayed for about 3 months before he travelled back. I took in on the third month and told him about it. He accepted it although he was not ready to settle down. He had to go ahead with the traditional wedding after the engagement in my village.
We were planning to have my traditional ceremony when I went for my antenatal care and the issue of genotype came up. It turned out that we aren’t a match and it didn’t occur to us earlier. The results were AS for him and AS for me and I’m already over 4 months gone.
All arrangements towards our wedding have been placed on hold because he’s scared of having a baby with SS. Sadly, the whole thing is now on me and my parents are so disappointed. I don’t really know what to do because I am stuck. My fiancé is no longer saying anything about the completion of our marriage rite and it seems he’s really backing out. Meanwhile, my pregnancy is progressing and I am beginning to show.
At a time like this, I have no one else but God to turn to but I need you to advice me.
Wow……this is a serious matter, I don’t advocate two carriers getting married at all cos I have live with a sickle cell patient growing up as a child so I understand what pains both parties go through. But you guys have to stand by each other now that the deed has been done to know the faith of the unborn child and how to make he/ she have a better life.
Turn to God, he alone can see you through this trying time.
God has a way of doing things my dear, that baby may not be SS, trust God and have your baby for everything will be fine
hmmmmnn..m.nt sure what to say…
In time like this you need God and yourself for the sake of the baby, if your husband turns out to you it is OK and if otherwise no problem .. But the basic is that you need to give him time and allow him to decides on what to do himself
My dear my case was the same thing with yours…. I was scared to death knowing that I might bring in an ss child,the father made my life a living hell…. I was not just ashamed I was having a child outside wedlock even with my status in church but also the fear of giving birth to an ss baby was worst. This is what I did…. I kept on speaking to my baby in my womb… Declaring that he’s AA, I nicknamed him my AA baby, there was no day that pass that I don’t declare the word of God concerning my baby… I sowed seed for him and kept praying…. It was a testimony, my baby came out fine, he’s AS and very healthy….. The dad is now all over us but am still scared of setting with him. All am telling you is that at a time like this is just only God… Don’t lose Hope, keep praying and it will be well.
N. Forget about him for now…. He might come around later, just focus on your baby and yourself… Get ready my dear. MOTHERHOOD WAITS. I love you
Firstly I’ll suggest you carry out a test now to know if the foetus is an ss carrier, if he is you will need to make a decision quickly, decide if you will be able to manage an ss carrier child if you decide to keep him without the help of the father as it is I think the man is being more realistic than you her and if the baby is not a carrier, keep him raise him and free the man, someday you will meet a man who is aa and marry him. And if you don’t, like I always say, marriage is not a do or die affair, trust me, you will blame yourself in the future if you don’t do like this, I am talking from experience.