Indeed, the story of multiple award winning gospel musician, AityDennis is inspirational. After 24 years in God’s waiting room, she was blessed with three children, including a set of twins.
In a telephone chat with TS Weekend, Aity who has been married for 30 years, gave a word of advice for childless couples. She said:
“God did not just bless me with twins but three able-bodied, unstoppable, intelligent emblems of God’s faithfulness namely Lovely, Awesome and Gladsome Dennis-Inyang! Wow! I don’t know when I will eventually recover from the fact that I eventually became a mother of children!
“For waiting couples, I’ve always said don’t give up yet. It can happen at any time. Don’t allow anyone or anything make you turn around and fight each other. Bond and fight the challenge together. That is the only way you can win. And please, while waiting, adopt a baby or babies. As you sow into the lives of adopted children, God will surprise you.”
In another recent interview, the proud mom-of-three advised further:
Find something to do for God. Keep yourself busy pursuing your passion. For me, it was and it is still my music and church work. If you don’t have something you are passionately pursuing, you could sink into depression. And before you know it, you are having health issues.
You could even die before you are dead. Build a support system because you cannot go it alone. Have a friend you can open up to and tell it exactly the way it is. If your spouse is your friend, better.
For couples having this challenge, the worst thing you can do is fight against each other, calling each other names and exposing the other party to ridicule and attacks from your family and friends; it will destroy your relationship. And that will make the devil happy because that is exactly what he has been working for. Don’t allow other relationships come in between you.
For men, it is very rampant to find that they are tempted to go after other women, looking to have children from them, and the agents of distraction will bring themselves and present to the already distraught man, promising to give them the baby that his wife has not been able to bear.
Remember, in Africa, the general belief is that if there is a challenge in childbirth, it is the wife’s fault, and this is unfortunate. So, you see many men who get distracted to have kids out of wedlock. I have seen many cases where the man later discovered that the child was not his own after all. But, by this time, he would have destroyed his marriage and the new promising ‘saviour cum baby donor’ has moved on to target another victim.
I always advise waiting couples to adopt. I always had children in my home; adopted, adapted, borrowed, rented, on mortgages etc. Don’t laugh! Bottom line is that the love you pour into another person’s child who is not your birth child, God has a way of giving you a harvest even when all hope is gone.”
Describing her husband, Denis Inyang, of 30 years, the doting wife said:
“I have come to know him as a loving man who would go to great lengths to ensure his family is comfortable and happy. He is a peaceful man, an excellence-driven visionary and life coach.
In fact, I have always said that without his input in my life and music, I do not think I would have gotten to this point. He gives me wings to soar and allows me to express my calling. My husband is a good man.
My husband has always been a nice gentleman. And he has not changed. People say that if you see a man open a car door for his wife, it’s either the wife is new or the car is old, but believe me, this guy still opens the door of the car for me. He treats me like a lady. My husband used to write a lot of poems for me when we were dating, and newly married. He still does that from time though, not as often.
During our 30th anniversary titled ‘Forever Yours’, he wrote a very lovely poem for me. And he read it publicly in church, and I was like ‘wow!’ I, too, have written many love songs for him. I released a CD for him titled, ‘Love Beats’ with several love songs. One of the songs says ‘you’ve made me better than you met me’. I sang it for him during the anniversary celebration. It is on YouTube, Boomplay, iTunes and other digital stores.
The singer, in a chat with Leadership two years ago noted that she passed through ‘the valley and shadow of death’ but miraculously survived, in her hopeless search for a child.
She added that she tried everything possible namely IVF tests, orthodox and unorthodox medicine and even went for traditional medicine in her then desperate hunger for a baby. Unfortunately, all failed her.
She further explained that she was, times without number, grossly stigmatised, victimised, humiliated, disgraced and maltreated by her so called friends, family members, friends and in-laws. But her unshakable faith in God kept her going and today, she is a living testimony of courage and her uncanny faith in God.
