Veteran Actor & Mum, Carol King, Shares on Her Children, Marriage & More

Veteran actor, Carol King, best known for her sterling performance in soap operas, started her acting career in Buga Town series on radio. Years later, she made her TV debut in I Need to Know and there’s been no stopping her. In an interview with Motherhood In-Style Magazine, the mum of three from Igueben, Edo State, shared on her children, marriage and more.

See excerpts:

On influences on her personality

“I would say my mother right off the cuff when I look back at all she had to cope with bringing us all up. I mean we were seven; four girls and three boys with all the cousins and relatives coming from Edo, then Bendel, to visit us in Zaria. She never ever got tired of being there for everyone and she still is, even at her ripe old age. She’s almost 70 and still on top of her game, never letting anything get her down. When my dad died 22 years ago we were all very afraid she would die too because they were very close but she just upped. I think my immediate younger brother and I were the only ones out of University when my dad died. She put her all into training all her children who are doing fantastically well. So, when I get to a point where I’m thinking, this is too much, I’m quick to remind myself of my mum who didn’t have as much as I have now. She’s one great mentor.”

On how much of her personality is reflected in the mothering roles she plays

“Well, I would start off with, you can’t give what you don’t have. So, basically, I’d say yes, there’s plenty of me in those roles I have played. There are also basic differences between my personality and these motherly roles I play. You know when you’re striving for the ideal, it now becomes utopian.”

On her husband

“My husband is very handsome, a pilot from Isale Eko, a proper Lagos boy, although his mum is British. Apart from God, he’s the next person for me. He’s a good pillar who allows me to fly free. He’s conservative but fun to hang out with. To him, values are values, morals are morals, and you won’t see him crossing the line in between a straight line. He’s a good man.”

On challenges she’s experienced in her marriage

“Like in every marriage, we have had our ups and downs but I can happily say we’ve had more ups than downs. I think the main challenge in the first place was the fact that he has a very strong personality; he is a type A personality, an alpha male. I don’t know if there’s anything like an alpha female but I’m also a strong person. So for the first five years of marriage, it was more of trying to come to terms with the fact that, no matter what, I have to be submissive as the woman. Since I got to understand that it’s not everything you argue about, it’s been just fine. I was in an abusive marriage before I met my husband, so I was always on the defensive. I had built a wall around me to protect myself. I would not tolerate a man saying a bad word to me and all that, but with time, he got to make me realise that we are not competing. He’ll say, ‘I love you as my woman, I will not disrespect you, I will never hit you, so relax,’ and once we got that covered, it’s been good so far.”

On her children

“My first son is Ikem, Ikemefuna Nsolo. He’s 30. He studied International Relations at Lead City University. My second son is Abdulqudus King, we call him Qudus, he’s 22. He’s in SAE School of Audio Engineering in London, he’s studying to be a music producer. My daughter, Sola King, her full names are Oluwasoladegbin King is 13.

All my children are artistic. My first son writes poems, he and my second son mix beats, and my daughter is into writing stories, and she sings. She actually won an award from MUSON, at a competition for schools. She sings and I won’t be surprised if she goes into acting but she’s so talented that I can’t streamline that this is what she would do. The world is their oyster; they’re all talented young stars. I’m just encouraging them.”

On her milestones as a mum

“The one that comes to mind immediately is my daughter. After I had my second boy, I wanted to have another baby immediately but couldn’t. I had several miscarriages and it got to a point that I didn’t bother anymore until later that year, the Redeemed Church of God had their convention. My younger sister who was living with me then was going for it with a friend, my husband was not in town and I knew I’ll be bored when she leaves, so I said okay, let’s go together and drove them there. When we got there, Daddy G.O was preaching, it was his birthday month as well, and he said God had asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he had said to Him that everyone’s fondest desire be granted. So, he said we should think very deeply what we wanted; is it a child, a car, a house, whatever it is, that one thing, pray about it, and God will say an amen to it and I prayed about my daughter. I think that same month or the next, I got pregnant. To me, she’s a testimony. And from when I had her as a baby, everywhere she goes, she lights up the place. God is to be glorified through her.”

On striking the needed balance between career and family

“Getting your priorities straight. For me, my priority is my family, anything else has to work around my family setting. If it doesn’t, it has to go because like I always say, when the applause dies down, the people who will be left with you are your family members, so, my family comes first in everything, apart from God and it’s never going to change. And, I’m lucky that my husband is quite hands-on. My family has been supportive too. When my children were still very young, my mother was always around and my sisters would come spend the holidays with me to help out, so I could go out. I had a very solid support system but even with that, it could be very hard, that’s where live-in helps and nannies come in. So, all these have combined to help me have it all; a career and family.”

On keeping tabs on her children’s lifestyle and relationships

“Like I said, we’re friends. I talk with them a lot and my boys introduce their girlfriends to me, I have a good relationship with their girlfriends. My daughter is just thirteen, of course, she’s getting looks and all that, that’s why I give her all the pep talks you give a daughter regularly, and I’m hoping even for her to get her cherry popped, she’ll talk to me about it first. That’s the kind of relationship I’m building. Sexual education is very important, if I don’t talk to them about it, who will give them the right information out there? With my sons, I started when they were two, I did by telling them your body is private, you don’t let anybody touch it, and if anybody does, when you get home, let me know. Sex education is a primary thing, they have to be taught.”

On how she relaxes with her family

“My boys are not around, so it’s just me, my husband and daughter. We do the beaches. There’s a nice spot in Cotonou that we go to, Hotel du Lac, it’s a hotel that’s on the ocean, a very lovely place. We also watch a lot of movies together.”