Father of 7 ‘Asher D’ Spills on Parenting & Ensuring His Kids Don’t Repeat his Mistakes
Ashley Walters, better known by his stage name Asher D, is an English rapper and actor. The father of seven recently spoke about parenting insights he has gained in life.
According to Mirror, the 33-year-old great actor was speaking before the release of ‘Top Dad’, a series of short documentaries in which he meets other fathers in unconventional circumstances.
He said: ”Being a dad to SEVEN children isn’t easy. But keeping them all on the straight and narrow is even harder – especially when you’re no stranger to trouble yourself’.”
Walters has two sons, a stepson and four daughters for three different women.
Trouble started way back in 2001, at the height of his rapping career in grime collective ‘So Solid Crew’, when he was found to be carrying a loaded air pistol modified to fire live ammunition and was later sentenced to 18 months in a young offender institute.
He met another setback in 2014 after he admitted assaulting a security guard in Aberdeen 6 months earlier and was fined £600.
Then, 2 months ago, he was also fined £1,000 for launching a foul-mouthed tirade at Hilton Hotel staff in Islington, north London, in a row over a bill.
Admitting his wrongs, he says the key to stopping his children repeating his mistakes is honesty.
Speaking with Mirror, Ashley said: “Even if I wanted to lie to them, I couldn’t, because they’re old enough to read and there are newspapers, the news, their friends tell them stuff and there’s the internet as well – it’s all readily available.
“Since day one, I’ve always been honest about my life and the stuff I’ve done wrong.
“I make mistakes, sometimes in front of them, I’m not going to lie, but I always address it and tell them it was a mistake and something I’m not proud of.
“Everyone in this world’s going to make mistakes, but the thing that’s going to stop you making them is understanding why you made them. I encourage them to do that.
“You know, we debate a lot in this household – there are a lot of court cases going on as we speak and people standing trial – but it’s something we do to it out together, and I think that works.”
Child actor Ashley admits he suffered as a result of not having a positive male role model in his life while growing up as his own dad, he says, was in jail for most of his childhood, but his relationship with his father has made him more determined to be there for his kids.
“My dad was pretty much in jail for most of my life, but it wasn’t a thing for me because I saw a lot of black role models were going through the same experience.
“None of my friends really had their dad in their life so it didn’t affect me, but in hindsight, a lot of the stuff I did because I was angry, but I didn’t really know why I was angry.
“That was about me trying to become a man but not having a point of reference, and then eventually finding the wrong reference – the wrong role models in my community and aspiring to be like them.
“I was with my dad for the last two weeks of his life. He died of lung cancer but before that I took him to Canada with me to shoot the 50 Cent movie, Get Rich or Die Tryin’, and we discussed in those two weeks what we should have discussed throughout my life.
“I realised there is cause and effect for everything. His dad wasn’t there for him, and his dad wasn’t there for him. It’s a knock on effect.
“I’m just glad I changed the cycle rather than walk around with this chip on my shoulder.
“I miss my dad a lot and there are a lot of things that I need him there for now and that I wish he was there for and sometimes I blame him for it, but at the end of the day I have to do what’s best for my kids and not repeat those same mistakes.
“I’m not the perfect father, by any means, but I believe it’s all about trying and getting up every day and trying to do right what you did wrong yesterday.”
In the series of ‘Top Dad’, Ashley spoke about how he wanted to see what he could learn from other dads.
He said: “I wanted to go to extremes and meet people doing unusual jobs, like being a porn star, or people with disabilities, like a small person having one child that’s normal height and one child who’s a small person as well.
“What I found was that a lot of those kids are a lot stronger than the kids I know, because I suppose going through pain, going through stress, it can get you down, but there’s another side to it where it can make you really strong.
“And these kids I met are really tough kids and have fought their way through it.
“The main thing that came out of it was that your dedication to your kids is what counts and all children want, especially at a young age is quality time.
“They want discipline, they want regulations, they want rules, they want boundaries, but they want you to be around to let them and they want your time.
“You just have to be a positive influence when you’re around.
“I just hope it inspires people and TV channels to make more shows reflecting good fathers. I don’t see a lot of that but there are a lot of good, solid single dads out there in relationships that are doing really well for their children.
“In the black community, there’s a stereotype about black fathers and Caribbean fathers not really being around for their kids.
“Sometimes I can see where it comes from – my dad was never really around for me – but at the same time it’s like, ‘Stop that, we’re here now and there are a lot of dads who are doing brilliant things with their kids and are dedicated to pushing them in the right direction.'”
Ashley also admits being a dad to seven children can be challenging. He says a family outing to Nando’s can hit him for “a few hundred quid” and it’s difficult because his kids are “all into different things”.
He added: “It can be hard when people feel they’re getting less time than others or more time than others, and it becomes quite political in the household sometimes.
“That is hard and I can be firm when I want to be but I’m the softer parent, I suppose, so I get mugged off a bit.
“But seeing them achieve or seeing how similar they are – you’re watching your genes working in front of you, which it can be an amazing thing.
“A lot of people who don’t have kids are like, ‘I don’t think I could do it,’ but to be honest, I don’t think anybody knows whether they can do it or not.
“Some people might talk a good game but you never know what’s going to happen until that child is there in your life and you have to adjust around that child.
“You going to constantly learn until everyone’s in the grave. I still need my mum today and I’m 33. I’m still calling her every week crying or talking about this and that. It doesn’t stop.”
Photo credit: All 4
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Just be a good daddy to them
hmmmm….
Interesting
Okay, seen
I hear you
Hmmmmm.
Okay
Cool
At 33yrs with seven children
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ok…